As this is a blog about relationships or being single I couldn't really let today go by without posting something.
So hope you have all had a lovely day and someone has shown you that they care.
But because I am spending today alone I want to share a video with my fellow singletons which will hopefully make you smile.
All you sickly and loved up couples should look away now.
Monday 14 February 2011
Friday 4 February 2011
Valentine's Day
So the day is nearly upon us and decorations are springing up in card shops and restaurants.
I have no problem with this day - when I am in a relationship - but when you are single it becomes something to dread.
You can be perfectly happy being single for 364 days of the year but on February 14 it becomes an issue that you are single and everyone seems to be pointing it out to you.
For example I was out shopping the other day and I was buying a drink from WHSmith and as I collected my receipt the cashier (who was just doing her job I know) informed me that they were offering 20% off Valentine's Day cards.
I smiled and took the voucher gracefully but all I wanted to do was shout at her that for the third year running I would not need to buy a Valentine's Day card as I would not be sending one nor receiving one and I would be avoiding everything about this day.
Another example was as I was making small talk with a colleague at work she asked me if I had any plans for Valentine's Day and when I replied with "probably sit on my own in a dark room watching girly films" she replied with "oh, do you not have a boyfriend?"
No I don't have a boyfriend so as a single girl I am going to share with you the 10 rules of a single girl's Valentine's Day as published in Cosmopolitan magazine.
1. Go for a splurge in Topshop - buying exactly what you want instead of spending a fortune on 'I wuv you' presents.
2. However mushy you're feeling don't text the ex. Repeat after me, you're better off without him.
3. Hit the town. Single men + single women = guaranteed fun.
4. Your colleague may have got flowers but she also gets dirty boxers left on the floor and Match of the Day.
5, Don't do a Rachel, Monica and Phoebe from Friends and hold a memento bonfire. It's one to get rid of his love letters but it's not worth the risk of seeing your flat go up in smoke.
6. Feeling bitter about your coupled up friends doesn't make you a bad friend - just this once anyway.
7. Do a 'best friend' date. But beware of over-inflated prices, crammed in tables and couples feeding each other oysters.
8. Make this the night you sign up for online dating. Seeing the 'winks' flood in will give you a real ego boost.
9. Remember that all Valentine's Day cards count. Even if they are from Dad to his 'princess'.
10. Gather your girls and indulge in a Sex and the City marathon. Just because you can.
I have no problem with this day - when I am in a relationship - but when you are single it becomes something to dread.
You can be perfectly happy being single for 364 days of the year but on February 14 it becomes an issue that you are single and everyone seems to be pointing it out to you.
For example I was out shopping the other day and I was buying a drink from WHSmith and as I collected my receipt the cashier (who was just doing her job I know) informed me that they were offering 20% off Valentine's Day cards.
I smiled and took the voucher gracefully but all I wanted to do was shout at her that for the third year running I would not need to buy a Valentine's Day card as I would not be sending one nor receiving one and I would be avoiding everything about this day.
Another example was as I was making small talk with a colleague at work she asked me if I had any plans for Valentine's Day and when I replied with "probably sit on my own in a dark room watching girly films" she replied with "oh, do you not have a boyfriend?"
No I don't have a boyfriend so as a single girl I am going to share with you the 10 rules of a single girl's Valentine's Day as published in Cosmopolitan magazine.
1. Go for a splurge in Topshop - buying exactly what you want instead of spending a fortune on 'I wuv you' presents.
2. However mushy you're feeling don't text the ex. Repeat after me, you're better off without him.
3. Hit the town. Single men + single women = guaranteed fun.
4. Your colleague may have got flowers but she also gets dirty boxers left on the floor and Match of the Day.
5, Don't do a Rachel, Monica and Phoebe from Friends and hold a memento bonfire. It's one to get rid of his love letters but it's not worth the risk of seeing your flat go up in smoke.
6. Feeling bitter about your coupled up friends doesn't make you a bad friend - just this once anyway.
7. Do a 'best friend' date. But beware of over-inflated prices, crammed in tables and couples feeding each other oysters.
8. Make this the night you sign up for online dating. Seeing the 'winks' flood in will give you a real ego boost.
9. Remember that all Valentine's Day cards count. Even if they are from Dad to his 'princess'.
10. Gather your girls and indulge in a Sex and the City marathon. Just because you can.
Wednesday 26 January 2011
It's time to play the game
What game am I talking about you ask? Why it's the dating game of course.
When you start seeing someone new there are a number of rules you have to follow and to help me with this I found out an article by The Real People's Love Doctor, Yangki Christine Akiteng which gives her view on playing the game.
The "rules" and playing dating mind games with men by Yangki Christine Akiteng -
You've heard them - don't approach him first, don't flirt, don't look too friendly, don't pick up the phone when he calls, wait four days before you call him back, never ever accept spontaneous invitations, act like you're not interested, don't show him you like him, don't let him hold your hand until the third date, don't introduce him to your friends before he introduces you to his, if he's not ready to commit when you're ready dump him, never be friends with an ex, etc, etc.
Who follows these types of rules? What kind of man does a woman who follows these rules attract? Is it possible to sustain a loving relationship based on a calculating persona faking a busy life? What's so wrong with being an open, honest, vulnerable, pro-active real woman with her own mind, body and soul?
Every time we set up unrealistic, counter-productive and sometimes even ridiculous "rules" that assume that all men and all women react the same way to the same situation rather than that relationships are an interplay between two unique individuals, we set ourselves up for frustration, hurt and disillusion.
If all you attract is frustration, disappointment and hurt, change the way you approach dating and the way you relate to the opposite sex. Stop treating dating like a game or a necessary evil you have to endure (to get to heaven) and instead see it as a journey of self-discovery.
Take time to get to know yourself and work on the unhealthy residues from your past that may be driving your choices and actions, challenge yourself to do some of the things you're most afraid to do, meet people and allow others to get to know the real you, accept that life isn't always fair and things will not always go your way but that happens to everyone, don't take yourself too seriously and don't expect others to be perfect, be flexible, spontaneous and have fun! But most of all be authentically you.
Show that you're approachable, friendly, interested and interesting, intriguing, good company and relationship worthy.
If you're interested in a guy, let him know. If you want to go on a date with him, ask him out. If a guy asks you out and you want to go, do it. If you're not available, don't go. If you're not into him, sensitively let him know. If you really are into him but the relationship is not as hot as you want it to be, do something about it. If something is bothering you about the relationship, talk to him about it. If the relationship is falling apart at the seams, try to mend it. If he feels smothered, pressured or wants a little breathing space, give it to him without hard feelings. If you love him and want a second chance, give love a chance. If you don't feel he is the one for you or the relationship is toxic, end it.
I understand that the approach I promote is rather radical for some and have been told by a few people it is a "cultural thing". Surely openness, honesty, integrity, truthfulness, authenticity, sensitivity, fairness, thoughtfulness and self-respect can't just be a "cultural thing".
More like a "human thing" or a "love thing" to me. Unless of course, you have nothing much to offer in terms of a real fulfilling relationship, then maybe it makes sense to manipulate others into thinking you're who you're not.
But that's just my take (and maybe it's a "cultural thing"). If you want to play mind games, by all means, play on. But don't complain when the guys you attract using mind games are doing exactly the same thing you're doing.
In my opinion, if two people are okay playing mind games with each other, then they deserve each other. No tears.
So do you agree with Yangki's views? Are you ready to throw the rule book out the window and let your heart lead your head?
When you start seeing someone new there are a number of rules you have to follow and to help me with this I found out an article by The Real People's Love Doctor, Yangki Christine Akiteng which gives her view on playing the game.
The "rules" and playing dating mind games with men by Yangki Christine Akiteng -
You've heard them - don't approach him first, don't flirt, don't look too friendly, don't pick up the phone when he calls, wait four days before you call him back, never ever accept spontaneous invitations, act like you're not interested, don't show him you like him, don't let him hold your hand until the third date, don't introduce him to your friends before he introduces you to his, if he's not ready to commit when you're ready dump him, never be friends with an ex, etc, etc.
Who follows these types of rules? What kind of man does a woman who follows these rules attract? Is it possible to sustain a loving relationship based on a calculating persona faking a busy life? What's so wrong with being an open, honest, vulnerable, pro-active real woman with her own mind, body and soul?
Every time we set up unrealistic, counter-productive and sometimes even ridiculous "rules" that assume that all men and all women react the same way to the same situation rather than that relationships are an interplay between two unique individuals, we set ourselves up for frustration, hurt and disillusion.
If all you attract is frustration, disappointment and hurt, change the way you approach dating and the way you relate to the opposite sex. Stop treating dating like a game or a necessary evil you have to endure (to get to heaven) and instead see it as a journey of self-discovery.
Take time to get to know yourself and work on the unhealthy residues from your past that may be driving your choices and actions, challenge yourself to do some of the things you're most afraid to do, meet people and allow others to get to know the real you, accept that life isn't always fair and things will not always go your way but that happens to everyone, don't take yourself too seriously and don't expect others to be perfect, be flexible, spontaneous and have fun! But most of all be authentically you.
Show that you're approachable, friendly, interested and interesting, intriguing, good company and relationship worthy.
If you're interested in a guy, let him know. If you want to go on a date with him, ask him out. If a guy asks you out and you want to go, do it. If you're not available, don't go. If you're not into him, sensitively let him know. If you really are into him but the relationship is not as hot as you want it to be, do something about it. If something is bothering you about the relationship, talk to him about it. If the relationship is falling apart at the seams, try to mend it. If he feels smothered, pressured or wants a little breathing space, give it to him without hard feelings. If you love him and want a second chance, give love a chance. If you don't feel he is the one for you or the relationship is toxic, end it.
I understand that the approach I promote is rather radical for some and have been told by a few people it is a "cultural thing". Surely openness, honesty, integrity, truthfulness, authenticity, sensitivity, fairness, thoughtfulness and self-respect can't just be a "cultural thing".
More like a "human thing" or a "love thing" to me. Unless of course, you have nothing much to offer in terms of a real fulfilling relationship, then maybe it makes sense to manipulate others into thinking you're who you're not.
But that's just my take (and maybe it's a "cultural thing"). If you want to play mind games, by all means, play on. But don't complain when the guys you attract using mind games are doing exactly the same thing you're doing.
In my opinion, if two people are okay playing mind games with each other, then they deserve each other. No tears.
So do you agree with Yangki's views? Are you ready to throw the rule book out the window and let your heart lead your head?
Monday 17 January 2011
Soundtrack to my love life
A few months ago while listening to my IPod a song by Sheryl Crow came on that completely summed up the way I was feeling at the time.
And then yesterday the same thing happened again.
The album I have in my car at the moment is A Fine Mess by Kate Voegele and when track eight 'Talkin' Smooth' came on and I listened to the words it perfectly summed up what was going on with my love life at the moment.
Have a read of the lyrics and see if you have ever been able to relate to it.
How many times have you used that line?
Did you replace the last two dozen words with mine?
Is 'I love you baby', second nature by now?
'Cause it sounds awful rehearsed when the words leave your mouth.
I don't know why but it seems that I'm not the first to have heard this speech.
Is this a routine you just repeat?
'Cause I don't mean to presume that you don't love me like you say you do but you're gonna have to prove that you're true and not just talkin' smooth.
Your performance deserves an academy award.
And it's a double edged sword 'cause I sure feel adored.
But just between us I'd rather see you slip up.
Don't you know that it's those less than perfect words I can't get enough of.
Maybe I'm outta my head but I'm telling you baby that I've been misled.
So if the record's off well could you get it set?
I don't mean to presume that you don't love me like you say you do but you're gonna have to prove that you're true and not just talkin' smooth.
Well you've proven your charm is a crime.
Why don't you see the harm in relying on this disguise.
You're losing my with every little wink of the eye.
The end of my rope is slipping out of my hold so if you're clever you'd better do some damage control.
I don't know why it seems you've made a game of making a fool outta me and I did not sign up to be your tongue in cheek.
I don't mean to presume that you don't love me like you say you do but, you're gonna have to prove that you're true and you're not talkin' smooth.
So, so far on the soundtrack to my love life is:
#1 The First Cut is the Deepest - Sheryl Crow
#2 Talkin' Smooth - Kate Voegele
I wonder what will be next?
What would be on your soundtrack?
And then yesterday the same thing happened again.
The album I have in my car at the moment is A Fine Mess by Kate Voegele and when track eight 'Talkin' Smooth' came on and I listened to the words it perfectly summed up what was going on with my love life at the moment.
Have a read of the lyrics and see if you have ever been able to relate to it.
How many times have you used that line?
Did you replace the last two dozen words with mine?
Is 'I love you baby', second nature by now?
'Cause it sounds awful rehearsed when the words leave your mouth.
I don't know why but it seems that I'm not the first to have heard this speech.
Is this a routine you just repeat?
'Cause I don't mean to presume that you don't love me like you say you do but you're gonna have to prove that you're true and not just talkin' smooth.
Your performance deserves an academy award.
And it's a double edged sword 'cause I sure feel adored.
But just between us I'd rather see you slip up.
Don't you know that it's those less than perfect words I can't get enough of.
Maybe I'm outta my head but I'm telling you baby that I've been misled.
So if the record's off well could you get it set?
I don't mean to presume that you don't love me like you say you do but you're gonna have to prove that you're true and not just talkin' smooth.
Well you've proven your charm is a crime.
Why don't you see the harm in relying on this disguise.
You're losing my with every little wink of the eye.
The end of my rope is slipping out of my hold so if you're clever you'd better do some damage control.
I don't know why it seems you've made a game of making a fool outta me and I did not sign up to be your tongue in cheek.
I don't mean to presume that you don't love me like you say you do but, you're gonna have to prove that you're true and you're not talkin' smooth.
So, so far on the soundtrack to my love life is:
#1 The First Cut is the Deepest - Sheryl Crow
#2 Talkin' Smooth - Kate Voegele
I wonder what will be next?
What would be on your soundtrack?
Sunday 2 January 2011
Overview of the year 2010
So the year 2010 has come to an end and if I had to sum it up in one word for this blog it would be "cheaters".
From the very start of the year celebrities and footballers came out of the wood work announcing their indiscretions.
Some came as a shock (Ronan Keating and Mark Owen) but some not so much (Ashley Cole).
But I think the one that upset me the most had to be John Terry.
As I said at the time, I am a Chelsea fan and as the captain of my team in my eyes he can do no wrong.
When it was announced he had an affair with his best friends ex-girlfriend his whole world came crashing down.
He lost his friend (remember the hand shake snub), his England captaincy and the respect of the nation.
His wife gracefully forgave me and hopefully this year will be better for him.
Ashley Cole however did not have such a forgiving wife, who after one too many claims of cheating, filed for divorce and the whole country applauded Cheryl Cole for giving him the boot.
But the end of the year saw the announcement of a royal wedding next year (an extra day off, hooray!) and hopefully everything will run smoothly for the pair.
Now the break through that this year has brought for me is I can finally say I am over my ex-boyfriend.
By the end of this year I realised that I had moved on and I have started to have feelings for someone else.
It has taken me more than two years but I can finally leave that part of my life behind me!
From the very start of the year celebrities and footballers came out of the wood work announcing their indiscretions.
Some came as a shock (Ronan Keating and Mark Owen) but some not so much (Ashley Cole).
But I think the one that upset me the most had to be John Terry.
As I said at the time, I am a Chelsea fan and as the captain of my team in my eyes he can do no wrong.
When it was announced he had an affair with his best friends ex-girlfriend his whole world came crashing down.
He lost his friend (remember the hand shake snub), his England captaincy and the respect of the nation.
His wife gracefully forgave me and hopefully this year will be better for him.
Ashley Cole however did not have such a forgiving wife, who after one too many claims of cheating, filed for divorce and the whole country applauded Cheryl Cole for giving him the boot.
But the end of the year saw the announcement of a royal wedding next year (an extra day off, hooray!) and hopefully everything will run smoothly for the pair.
Now the break through that this year has brought for me is I can finally say I am over my ex-boyfriend.
By the end of this year I realised that I had moved on and I have started to have feelings for someone else.
It has taken me more than two years but I can finally leave that part of my life behind me!
Sunday 12 December 2010
Taking a friendship to the next level
Picture this: you have been friends with someone for a long time and you slowly start to develop feelings for them.
What do you do? Do you take the plunge and start up a relationship or do you keep things the way they are?
If you do take the plunge what happens if it doesn't work out? Then not only have you lost a partner but also a friend. And what will that mean for your mutual friends?
But if you are already good friends then you already know that you get along so there is a good chance of you being able to make it as a couple.
Or you could keep things as they are and stay as friends but then there is always going to be your underlying feelings.
I think this could be one of the most difficult decisions to make.
Have you ever been faced with this dilemma? What would you do?
What do you do? Do you take the plunge and start up a relationship or do you keep things the way they are?
If you do take the plunge what happens if it doesn't work out? Then not only have you lost a partner but also a friend. And what will that mean for your mutual friends?
But if you are already good friends then you already know that you get along so there is a good chance of you being able to make it as a couple.
Or you could keep things as they are and stay as friends but then there is always going to be your underlying feelings.
I think this could be one of the most difficult decisions to make.
Have you ever been faced with this dilemma? What would you do?
Monday 15 November 2010
The results are in - the number one weird crush for 2010 is...
As my last post was quite serious I thought I should follow it up with something light hearted.
The results for the top 25 weird crushes as voted by Heat magazine readers are now in.
So who got the number one spot? Not so fast.
Back in May I shared with you who made the 2009 hot (or not) list and Derren Brown took the prestigious top spot.
A few of this year's new entries include Masterchef's Gregg Wallace and John Torode who just made the cut at numbers 25 and 24 respectively and perhaps the biggest shock in the countdown - the man from the 'Go Compare' adverts who just missed out on the top 10 at number 11.
But I am so pleased to reveal that the winner is probably one of the most sincere and sweet men to grace television and is one of the funniest people I have ever heard - have you guessed it? This year's number one Weird Crush goes to the wonderful Karl Pilkington.
Love this man and well done to everyone for voting for him.
Check out who made up the rest of the list.
The results for the top 25 weird crushes as voted by Heat magazine readers are now in.
So who got the number one spot? Not so fast.
Back in May I shared with you who made the 2009 hot (or not) list and Derren Brown took the prestigious top spot.
A few of this year's new entries include Masterchef's Gregg Wallace and John Torode who just made the cut at numbers 25 and 24 respectively and perhaps the biggest shock in the countdown - the man from the 'Go Compare' adverts who just missed out on the top 10 at number 11.
But I am so pleased to reveal that the winner is probably one of the most sincere and sweet men to grace television and is one of the funniest people I have ever heard - have you guessed it? This year's number one Weird Crush goes to the wonderful Karl Pilkington.
Love this man and well done to everyone for voting for him.
Check out who made up the rest of the list.
The first cut is the deepest
I heard this song the other day and as I listened to the words I realised that this is how I have been feeling lately.
The reason why I have been so closed off from men recently is because I don't ever want to get hurt again.
I got so hurt the first time I opened by heart to someone that I won't ever let myself feel like that again because I don't think I'm ready to get my heart broken again.
I won't let myself admit how I feel because if I do and it all goes wrong then I'm right back where I started when I began this blog and so much has changed since then that I can't let that happen.
But saying that I think now I have realised what I have been too afraid to admit to myself for so long that maybe I can start to relax and just let things take their course and see where it leaves me and to not be afraid!
The reason why I have been so closed off from men recently is because I don't ever want to get hurt again.
I got so hurt the first time I opened by heart to someone that I won't ever let myself feel like that again because I don't think I'm ready to get my heart broken again.
I won't let myself admit how I feel because if I do and it all goes wrong then I'm right back where I started when I began this blog and so much has changed since then that I can't let that happen.
But saying that I think now I have realised what I have been too afraid to admit to myself for so long that maybe I can start to relax and just let things take their course and see where it leaves me and to not be afraid!
Sunday 14 November 2010
Can you really stay friends with an ex - part 3
I have been pondering the answer to this question for over two years now and have been swaying back and forth trying to give you an answer based on my experience.
And while I think in some circumstances you can stay friends with an ex - in my case I don't think it is going to be possible.
For the past few months my ex and I have slowly been drifting apart, talking less and less and not seeing one another and this hasn't bothered me.
The clincher came the last time I saw him about six weeks and as he was telling me about his life I realised he isn't the same man that I met five years ago.
This is no bad thing but we have less and less things in common and have naturally drifted apart.
We will still keep in touch and it is nice to know that he will always be there for me but it is also nice to know that I no longer rely on him and can move on with my life without him.
Have you ever stayed good friends with an ex? Or do you think it is better to call it a day as soon as the relationship ends?
And while I think in some circumstances you can stay friends with an ex - in my case I don't think it is going to be possible.
For the past few months my ex and I have slowly been drifting apart, talking less and less and not seeing one another and this hasn't bothered me.
The clincher came the last time I saw him about six weeks and as he was telling me about his life I realised he isn't the same man that I met five years ago.
This is no bad thing but we have less and less things in common and have naturally drifted apart.
We will still keep in touch and it is nice to know that he will always be there for me but it is also nice to know that I no longer rely on him and can move on with my life without him.
Have you ever stayed good friends with an ex? Or do you think it is better to call it a day as soon as the relationship ends?
Wednesday 6 October 2010
Are you afraid of the dark?
A new series of Living TV's Dating in the Dark will be back on your screens next year and it could be you going on your unique blind date.
Auditions for the new series will start soon so to be a part of it email dating@initialtv.com for an application pack.
To apply you must be over 21-years-old, a UK resident and, of course, single!
Auditions for the new series will start soon so to be a part of it email dating@initialtv.com for an application pack.
To apply you must be over 21-years-old, a UK resident and, of course, single!
Saturday 25 September 2010
Love Sucks
At least that's according to Glamour.com's recent poll of the world's sexiest men.
Stars of the Twilight films and TV series The Vampire Diaries have beat usual hotties Brad Pitt and George Clooney to claim the top five spots in this year's poll of 50 which is an array of vampires and werewolves with Taylor Lautner (Jacob from the Twilight series) claiming the number two slot and Robert Pattinson (Edward Cullen from the Twilight series) going straight in at number one.
So what does this mean for poll veterans slipping down to the 30's and 40's with only Johnny Depp making the top 10 at number six?
Take a look at who made the final 50.
Stars of the Twilight films and TV series The Vampire Diaries have beat usual hotties Brad Pitt and George Clooney to claim the top five spots in this year's poll of 50 which is an array of vampires and werewolves with Taylor Lautner (Jacob from the Twilight series) claiming the number two slot and Robert Pattinson (Edward Cullen from the Twilight series) going straight in at number one.
So what does this mean for poll veterans slipping down to the 30's and 40's with only Johnny Depp making the top 10 at number six?
Take a look at who made the final 50.
Wednesday 8 September 2010
Chantelle and Preston
Now I am ashamed to say I have been watching Ultimate Big Brother and I am rooting for Brian Dowling.
I loved him the first time round and he is definitely the ultimate housemate.
But what shocked me most of all on the opening night was how evil Big Brother can be by putting ex husband and wife Chantelle and Preston back in the house where they first met and fell in love.
Now my ex and me get on really well and are still good friends but I don't think I would be able to be around him 24/7 for three weeks.
Especially when it is very clear that Chantelle has never gotten over Preston.
I don't think the other housemates are helping either by drawing attention to it at every opportunity.
It is nice to see that they still get on though and there are no bitter feelings between them.
I just hope this whole experience gives Chantelle some closure and hopefully she will now be able to deal with all her unresolved issues involving her ex.
Do you think they should give it another try? Or do you think their relationship belongs in the past? Let me know.
I loved him the first time round and he is definitely the ultimate housemate.
But what shocked me most of all on the opening night was how evil Big Brother can be by putting ex husband and wife Chantelle and Preston back in the house where they first met and fell in love.
Now my ex and me get on really well and are still good friends but I don't think I would be able to be around him 24/7 for three weeks.
Especially when it is very clear that Chantelle has never gotten over Preston.
I don't think the other housemates are helping either by drawing attention to it at every opportunity.
It is nice to see that they still get on though and there are no bitter feelings between them.
I just hope this whole experience gives Chantelle some closure and hopefully she will now be able to deal with all her unresolved issues involving her ex.
Do you think they should give it another try? Or do you think their relationship belongs in the past? Let me know.
Monday 30 August 2010
You can find love in the strangest places
Now they always say that you find love when you least expect it but I never expected to be asked out on a date while I was having my car washed!
You can probably tell from my last few posts that there has not been much action for me on the date front and I especially find things difficult this time of year for lots of different man related reasons!
But putting all that aside I was asked out on a date to the cinema by a man who was washing my car at my local car wash.
However despite not having been on a date in over a year I managed to dodge the question and turn him because he was just not my type but I have to say it felt very good to be asked.
This all happened when I was on my way back from work so was in my uniform (which is not the most flattering), my make up all worn off and shattered from the long day.
And as I settled down with a magazine to let him get on with his job, he decided we were going to have a chat.
Which went really well and the conversation flowed nicely but I just didn't feel any spark.
So even though I am not going on the date it has given my self confidence a huge boost which is actually all I needed.
You can probably tell from my last few posts that there has not been much action for me on the date front and I especially find things difficult this time of year for lots of different man related reasons!
But putting all that aside I was asked out on a date to the cinema by a man who was washing my car at my local car wash.
However despite not having been on a date in over a year I managed to dodge the question and turn him because he was just not my type but I have to say it felt very good to be asked.
This all happened when I was on my way back from work so was in my uniform (which is not the most flattering), my make up all worn off and shattered from the long day.
And as I settled down with a magazine to let him get on with his job, he decided we were going to have a chat.
Which went really well and the conversation flowed nicely but I just didn't feel any spark.
So even though I am not going on the date it has given my self confidence a huge boost which is actually all I needed.
Monday 23 August 2010
Movie Womaniser's
Here are the Top 10 Movie Womaniser's as published on msn.co.uk.
Do you agree? Who do you think should have made the cut?
1. James Bond
2. Alfie
3. Trent in Swingers
4. Frank in Magnolia
5. Wedding Crashers boys
6. Captain Jack Sparrow
7. Austin Powers
8. Daniel Cleaver in Bridget Jones Diary
9. Casanova
10. Harry in Burn After Reading
Do you agree? Who do you think should have made the cut?
1. James Bond
2. Alfie
3. Trent in Swingers
4. Frank in Magnolia
5. Wedding Crashers boys
6. Captain Jack Sparrow
7. Austin Powers
8. Daniel Cleaver in Bridget Jones Diary
9. Casanova
10. Harry in Burn After Reading
Friday 23 July 2010
Who would be your perfect man?
A body image has been conducted to find out what the perfect man would be made up of.
Created by http://www.myprotein.com/ the survey was taken by 1,510 men and 1,204 women who chose between Brad Pitt's face and Frank Lampard's legs to put together their perfect man.
Here is what the men came up with:
Hair: Gerard Butler
Face: Brad Pitt
Shoulders: Hugh Jackman
Chest: Will Smith
Arms: Vin Diesel
Abs: Matthew McConaughy
Legs: Jonny Wilkinson
And here is what the women came up with:
Hair: David Beckham
Face: Johnny Depp
Shoulders: Taylor Lautner
Chest: Daniel Craig
Arms: Rafael Nadal
Abs: Ryan Reynolds
Legs: Frank Lampard
Do you agree? Let me know who would make up your man.
Thursday 10 June 2010
World Cup
I thought I would share with you all an email I was sent at work which made me smile which is a list of rules for women who are not interested in watching the football written by their other half.
1. From Friday, June 11, to July 11, please update yourself on what is going on regarding the World Cup so that you can join in the conversations. Otherwise you may be looked at in a bad way, or totally ignored.
2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any expectations. If you even glimpse at the remote control, you will lose it.
3. You may walk in front of the TV during a game, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I won't have time to take you to the doctor or look after you.
4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick the baby up that just fell from the second floor.
5. Kindly keep at least two six packs in the fridge at all times, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am.
6. If you see me upset because one of my teams is losing do not say 'get over it, it's only a game' or 'don't worry, they'll win next time.' These words will only make me angrier and I will love you less.
7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during half time when adverts are on and only if the half time score is pleasing to me.
8. The replays of the goals are important. Whether I have seen them or not, I want to see them again. Many times. And do not say 'but you have already seen this, why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch?' As the reply will be, see rule #2.
9. Tell your friends not to have babies or any other child-related parties or gatherings that require my attendance because I will not go.
10. Finally please save your expression such as 'thank goodness the World Cup is only every four years' as I am immune to these words because after this comes the Premier League, the Champions League and in two years the Euros.
Now I know this doesn't apply to every couple as I for one will be watching and enjoying as much as the tournament as possible and to add to that I am flying off to South Africa on Tuesday.
Look out for me on Friday night during England vs Algeria.
Bon Voyage!
1. From Friday, June 11, to July 11, please update yourself on what is going on regarding the World Cup so that you can join in the conversations. Otherwise you may be looked at in a bad way, or totally ignored.
2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any expectations. If you even glimpse at the remote control, you will lose it.
3. You may walk in front of the TV during a game, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I won't have time to take you to the doctor or look after you.
4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick the baby up that just fell from the second floor.
5. Kindly keep at least two six packs in the fridge at all times, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am.
6. If you see me upset because one of my teams is losing do not say 'get over it, it's only a game' or 'don't worry, they'll win next time.' These words will only make me angrier and I will love you less.
7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during half time when adverts are on and only if the half time score is pleasing to me.
8. The replays of the goals are important. Whether I have seen them or not, I want to see them again. Many times. And do not say 'but you have already seen this, why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch?' As the reply will be, see rule #2.
9. Tell your friends not to have babies or any other child-related parties or gatherings that require my attendance because I will not go.
10. Finally please save your expression such as 'thank goodness the World Cup is only every four years' as I am immune to these words because after this comes the Premier League, the Champions League and in two years the Euros.
Now I know this doesn't apply to every couple as I for one will be watching and enjoying as much as the tournament as possible and to add to that I am flying off to South Africa on Tuesday.
Look out for me on Friday night during England vs Algeria.
Bon Voyage!
Saturday 5 June 2010
World Cup Widows
Now as I am sure you all know the World Cup starts next week.
And this could mean that those of you in a relationship could become a World Cup widow.
Your man will be in front of a television screen at least twice a day watching match after match.
If that doesn't sound like your cup of tea, here are a few alternatives than watching the beautiful game.
1. Watch Sex and the City 2
2. Go shopping
3. Have a picnic in the park
4. Try wine tasting
5. Bake goodies
6. Have a girly film night
7. Go dancing
8. Snuggle up with a good book
9. Do something you have always wanted to do
10. Organise your wardrobe
So for those of you who aren't interested in the football this summer give one of these a go.
Saturday 29 May 2010
The 10 rules of guilty crushes
Carrying on from my last post I have decided to share with you the 10 rules of guilty crushes as published in Cosmopolitan magazine.
1. Everyone's allowed one famous guilty pleasure.
2. If you daydream about your boss's son or your boyfriend's dad - don't tell anyone.
3. Never confess to a cartoon crush.
4. An accidental 'hey, how've you been?' works fine in the office - not outside his house.
5. Women are allowed.
6. If you find yourself fancying your best friend's man, picture him doing the macarena wearing a monkey thong.
7. If your guilty crush is your boss make sure to check his status before asking him for a drink. You don't want to have to deal with his wife.
8. Silver foxes (George Clooney, Richard Gere) are acceptable older crushes. Des Lynam - not so much.
9. Don't write you+your crushes name in your notepad and then leave it unattended.
10. Make your crush work to your advantage. Getting an extra shot in Starbucks or extra help with your workload.
1. Everyone's allowed one famous guilty pleasure.
2. If you daydream about your boss's son or your boyfriend's dad - don't tell anyone.
3. Never confess to a cartoon crush.
4. An accidental 'hey, how've you been?' works fine in the office - not outside his house.
5. Women are allowed.
6. If you find yourself fancying your best friend's man, picture him doing the macarena wearing a monkey thong.
7. If your guilty crush is your boss make sure to check his status before asking him for a drink. You don't want to have to deal with his wife.
8. Silver foxes (George Clooney, Richard Gere) are acceptable older crushes. Des Lynam - not so much.
9. Don't write you+your crushes name in your notepad and then leave it unattended.
10. Make your crush work to your advantage. Getting an extra shot in Starbucks or extra help with your workload.
Wednesday 26 May 2010
Weird Crushes
Now I'm sure we all have that crush that we don't want to admit to because it's embarassing.
Well mine is Richard Hammond - whose yours?
Why not see if they made it to the top 25 weird crushes 2009 voted for by Heat magazine.
Who would make your top 25 for 2010?
Well mine is Richard Hammond - whose yours?
Why not see if they made it to the top 25 weird crushes 2009 voted for by Heat magazine.
Who would make your top 25 for 2010?
Sex And The City 2
There are only two days to go before Sex and the City 2 hits the big screen. And I for one can't wait!
It has been a long two years without these four fab ladies being on our big screen and along with the clothes and shoes I am desperate to see what has been happening between Carrie and Mr Big.
Has it been wedded bliss for the pair? Well seeing as SPOILER ALERT I have seen Aidan in the trailer below I fear there could be some problems on the horizon.
Now I know this isn't real but these ladies always make me feel better about man troubles that come about because at least one - if not all - have been through it all at least once before.
So slip on your Manolo Blahniks and get the girls together and make a night of it.
Check out the trailer for a teaser!
Saturday 22 May 2010
I've lost my mojo
I am about to make an admission that I probably shouldn't be making on the world wide web but this blog is all about relationships highs and lows and this is a major low.
I haven't kissed a boy in nearly a year - and it's not out of choice either.
Over the last year I have found I have either become too choosy or I have just not had the opportunity.
When I first started to get back out there after coming to terms with being single again since 17 I would get chatted up and approached by men in pubs and clubs.
But now at 22 anyone who plucks up the courage to approach me I automatically dismiss them -sometimes without even looking at them.
And now in the past few weeks I don't get any attention at all - nothing, na da, zilch.
I would like to think that I am just having too much fun to notice but I fear this isn't the case.
I think what my main problem is I would like to meet someone who has a similar taste in music to me - I want a boyfriend who will want to take me to Download Festival - not Global Gathering.
So depending on where I am could automatically kill your chances if I see you singing every word to DJ what's her name!
I just hope my perfect man is out there somewhere - and that he is not afraid to approach me!
I haven't kissed a boy in nearly a year - and it's not out of choice either.
Over the last year I have found I have either become too choosy or I have just not had the opportunity.
When I first started to get back out there after coming to terms with being single again since 17 I would get chatted up and approached by men in pubs and clubs.
But now at 22 anyone who plucks up the courage to approach me I automatically dismiss them -sometimes without even looking at them.
And now in the past few weeks I don't get any attention at all - nothing, na da, zilch.
I would like to think that I am just having too much fun to notice but I fear this isn't the case.
I think what my main problem is I would like to meet someone who has a similar taste in music to me - I want a boyfriend who will want to take me to Download Festival - not Global Gathering.
So depending on where I am could automatically kill your chances if I see you singing every word to DJ what's her name!
I just hope my perfect man is out there somewhere - and that he is not afraid to approach me!
Sunday 14 March 2010
My faith in men
Now I know I haven't updated this in a while but unfortunately my love life has taken a serious nose dive and I haven't had much material.
It also hasn't helped that my faith in men has been completely shattered over the past few months as one after another footballers and popstars have been found to be love rats.
Why can men not keep it in their pants? They should be grateful that a beautiful woman has chosen them to spend their life with them and not be so greedy.
It all started with John Terry.
Now I am a Chelsea fan and him being the captain of my football team he was my hero.
And then I find out he has cheated on his wife with his best friend's ex girlfriend.
Then there was Ashley Cole - another Chelsea footballer - but to be honest this one came as no surprise and I hope Cheryl Cole continues to see sense and never lets him near her again.
Then came Vernon Kay. He never actually cheated on his wife but what he did was shameful.
And now Mark Owen and Howard Donald from Take That have admitted to cheating.
How are women expected to trust a man when they are capable of doing this to us?
It also hasn't helped that my faith in men has been completely shattered over the past few months as one after another footballers and popstars have been found to be love rats.
Why can men not keep it in their pants? They should be grateful that a beautiful woman has chosen them to spend their life with them and not be so greedy.
It all started with John Terry.
Now I am a Chelsea fan and him being the captain of my football team he was my hero.
And then I find out he has cheated on his wife with his best friend's ex girlfriend.
Then there was Ashley Cole - another Chelsea footballer - but to be honest this one came as no surprise and I hope Cheryl Cole continues to see sense and never lets him near her again.
Then came Vernon Kay. He never actually cheated on his wife but what he did was shameful.
And now Mark Owen and Howard Donald from Take That have admitted to cheating.
How are women expected to trust a man when they are capable of doing this to us?
Friday 20 November 2009
Dreams explained
Ever woke up after a sexy dream and wondered what it could mean? Are you still in love with your ex? Do you fancy your boss?
I have found an article by Dr Pam Spurr that delves into the meaning of your sexy dreams to help with those unanswered questions.
How can you begin to interpret your dreams?
Think carefully about your dream images and they can make sense.
To help you decipher your dreams I've formulated the Dream (D.R.E.A.M.) Key technique:
D is for detail: think about which detail stood out most in your dream. Let's say there were snake-like things writhing all around you and they made you feel sexy. In a dream like this, such detail can represent your longing for sex. The writhing snake-like creatures represent your inner desires to have a man in your life.
R is for recognition: is there anything recognisable in your dream? Think through the dream images and whether your dream was set somewhere recognisable or featured someone you knew. The more recognisable features there are in your dream, the more it's based in reality. The less recognisable, the more your sleeping mind is trying to slowly reveal a message to you. And so it uses ‘veiled’ or unrecognisable symbolism to break a message slowly and subtly to you.
E is for emotion: think back to how you felt when you woke up and what was the most powerful emotion in your dream? Did you feel sexual excitement, anxiety, fulfilment, etc? That’s important as a guide to what your mind is trying to tell you. Let's say you're having sex in the dream, and you feel very anxious during the sex. That means your subconscious mind is trying to tell you that you need to face any inhibitions you might have.
A is for action/inaction: recall whether you're the one leading the action in your dream or if you're a passive observer - maybe watching someone else have sex. If you're an active participant in what's happening, it reveals that you want to assert yourself or recognise something about yourself - such as recognising that you'd quite like to experiment more in bed.
If you're passively watching other people do sexual things it symbolises that you're probably lacking sexual confidence or that you feel you're on the 'outside' in a sexual relationship.
M is for meaning: finally, if you think carefully about your dream can you guess the meaning? Our dreams are there to help us understand more about our deeper emotions and sometimes examining them reveals their meaning to our lives. So relax, think back to your dream, and be open-minded about what the symbolism from your sleeping mind was trying to tell you.
Three of the most common sex dreams and what they really mean:
1: Having hot ex-sex
It can be a big worry when you dream of having hot sex with your ex-partner, especially if you're with someone new. It can cause anxiety but I can reassure you that dreaming of sex with your ex is a really common sex dream.
A typical dream scenario: you dream that you're having passionate sex with your ex - usually in the same way - doing the same things - you would have done when together as if nothing has changed. If you're in a new relationship your new partner, or someone else, might walk in on you two in bed.
The hidden meaning? Trust me, such dreams don't necessarily mean you actually want sex with your ex. These dream symbols usually mean you're longing for something that you feel comfortable with and that's familiar to you. It might be that you feel a bit insecure in your new relationship so your sleeping mind takes you back to a time when you were comfortable.
Repetitive dreams involving sex with your ex can spell danger if they keep cropping up. Recurring dreams of this nature show that you're not over your ex, or that sex with your new partner isn’t as good as with your ex.
Three of the most common sex dreams and what they really mean:
1: Having hot ex-sex
It can be a big worry when you dream of having hot sex with your ex-partner, especially if you're with someone new. It can cause anxiety but I can reassure you that dreaming of sex with your ex is a really common sex dream.
A typical dream scenario: you dream that you're having passionate sex with your ex - usually in the same way - doing the same things - you would have done when together as if nothing has changed. If you're in a new relationship your new partner, or someone else, might walk in on you two in bed.
The hidden meaning? Trust me, such dreams don't necessarily mean you actually want sex with your ex. These dream symbols usually mean you're longing for something that you feel comfortable with and that's familiar to you. It might be that you feel a bit insecure in your new relationship so your sleeping mind takes you back to a time when you were comfortable.
Repetitive dreams involving sex with your ex can spell danger if they keep cropping up. Recurring dreams of this nature show that you're not over your ex, or that sex with your new partner isn’t as good as with your ex.
2: Having sex with someone of the same sex when you're not gay
Dreaming that you're having sizzling sex with someone of the same sex doesn't necessarily mean you're bi-curious. You might think it's extremely bizarre but believe me it’s common. Men in particular get anxious when they’ve dreamed about having sex with another man as they think it reflects on their sexuality - but this usually isn't the case.
A typical dream scenario: very often this type of sex dream occurs somewhere unfamiliar - they're usually not set in your own bedroom or home. You're also likely to dream that you're the passive participant and it's the other person who is in charge of the sex.
The hidden meaning? Such sex dreams are more about emotional and intimate curiosity generally, then a desire to try gay sex. It's one way for your subconscious mind to allow you to ‘let go’ and try something that's new. That's the reason why the setting is somewhere unknown as your sleeping mind’s hinting that you need to experiment more - and get out and do something different!
Often the hidden meaning is about being less inhibited in the bedroom. But, again, if this is a recurrent dream theme then it's very likely that deep down you’re bi-curious and you’d like to experiment with someone of the same sex.
Dreaming that you're having sizzling sex with someone of the same sex doesn't necessarily mean you're bi-curious. You might think it's extremely bizarre but believe me it’s common. Men in particular get anxious when they’ve dreamed about having sex with another man as they think it reflects on their sexuality - but this usually isn't the case.
A typical dream scenario: very often this type of sex dream occurs somewhere unfamiliar - they're usually not set in your own bedroom or home. You're also likely to dream that you're the passive participant and it's the other person who is in charge of the sex.
The hidden meaning? Such sex dreams are more about emotional and intimate curiosity generally, then a desire to try gay sex. It's one way for your subconscious mind to allow you to ‘let go’ and try something that's new. That's the reason why the setting is somewhere unknown as your sleeping mind’s hinting that you need to experiment more - and get out and do something different!
Often the hidden meaning is about being less inhibited in the bedroom. But, again, if this is a recurrent dream theme then it's very likely that deep down you’re bi-curious and you’d like to experiment with someone of the same sex.
3: Sex with a boss or colleague who you don't like or fancy
Having a sexy dream like this can completely mystify you. Why would you dream about having raunchy sex with a boss or someone else you don’t like?
A typical dream scenario: you probably find yourself in this person's office or in your office having sex. Often it's likely to be active sex and you end up on the desk, on the floor, or basically all over the place.
The hidden meaning? When you dream of sex with someone you don't like it's usually your subconscious mind telling you that you need to take control of the situation. These dreams are more about a ‘power struggle' and less likely to be about actual sex. In your dream life your sleeping mind gives you that control by having passionate sex with the person but crucially, in the way you want it.
Having a sexy dream like this can completely mystify you. Why would you dream about having raunchy sex with a boss or someone else you don’t like?
A typical dream scenario: you probably find yourself in this person's office or in your office having sex. Often it's likely to be active sex and you end up on the desk, on the floor, or basically all over the place.
The hidden meaning? When you dream of sex with someone you don't like it's usually your subconscious mind telling you that you need to take control of the situation. These dreams are more about a ‘power struggle' and less likely to be about actual sex. In your dream life your sleeping mind gives you that control by having passionate sex with the person but crucially, in the way you want it.
So if you have had a dream that falls into any of the above categories take a look and find out what it could mean.
Monday 9 November 2009
Chat up lines
Ever wonder how to strike up a conversation with someone when you spot them in a crowded room. Well here writers Penny Isaacs and Sarah Lockett give you the tips you need.
Your eyes connect across the crowded room/dancefloor/office.
That was the easy bit.
But now guys - do you want some advice on how to get to know her?
Whatever you say, the key point to remember is that women judge a great deal by eye contact and hate a shifty look.
Confident delivery is half the battle.
Do not stare at her figure even if it’s great.
1. Compliments
Keep them brief, and do not focus on her body or you will look desperate. 'You have nice earrings' will often do the job. ‘That’s a great top’ really means those are great boobs, and women know this.
2. Something off-the-wall outrageous!
‘Tell me, do you know how to change a wheel?’ If done with a cheeky smile this could just work. At least she will laugh or be intrigued.
3. A generous no-strings attached invitation.
‘Would you like a glass of champagne – we have a bottle open which we won’t get through.’ This shows you are classy (champers) and generous – win-win.
4. Literature
‘If you like that book you should try the second one in the trilogy.’ Only do this if you genuinely know the author – otherwise you will get caught out. If you haven’t read the book, you can always open with – ‘I was thinking about getting that book – what do you think of it?’ Ask an OPEN question – not one she can give a Yes/No answer to.
5. Family resemblances
‘Sorry, I had to do a double-take. You remind me so much of my beautiful sister Jane.’ If you don’t have a sister – use a friend’s name, but in case she ever meets the real Jane – make sure they do look somewhat alike. This is corny but sweet.
6. Help!
‘I don’t know you, but, as a woman, would you mind telling me if you would want this present that I have just bought for my mum?’ Your helpless male act will bring out the big softie in her. Who could resist rescuing you when you’re trying to do something nice for your Mum?
7. Fancy that!
‘What a coincidence. Didn’t I see you at the bus stop outside the cinema last week? You had a fantastic mohair coat which really looked unusual.’ Even if it wasn’t her, she will like the compliment and you will have to spend some time figuring out if it was her i.e. which film, which cinema etc… This gives you time for a few follow-up gambits.
8. Being the gent.
‘That case looks heavy. Can I help you take it off the carousel?’ These old-school manners always go down well, no matter how liberated the woman is. Who’s going to object to a bit of genuine courtesy?
9. On the train.
‘Do you know what time we get into Manchester?’….factual, unthreatening. But get in quick with a follow-up remark, a joke about the catering, the delightfully helpful staff or Network Rail’s ever-present engineering works, always timed to perfection.
10. In the wine bar.
‘They do a great Frascati/Sauvignon Blanc here, I’m going to get a glass – can I get you one while I am at it?’ A variation on ‘Can I buy you a drink?’ but no harm in that.
11. In the street/bus stop/pub.
‘I am looking for a really good Italian restaurant round here, any ideas?’ Again, unthreatening. She will probably give directions or be going that way herself, in which case…
Why not give these a try next time you see someone who takes your fancy!
Your eyes connect across the crowded room/dancefloor/office.
That was the easy bit.
But now guys - do you want some advice on how to get to know her?
Whatever you say, the key point to remember is that women judge a great deal by eye contact and hate a shifty look.
Confident delivery is half the battle.
Do not stare at her figure even if it’s great.
1. Compliments
Keep them brief, and do not focus on her body or you will look desperate. 'You have nice earrings' will often do the job. ‘That’s a great top’ really means those are great boobs, and women know this.
2. Something off-the-wall outrageous!
‘Tell me, do you know how to change a wheel?’ If done with a cheeky smile this could just work. At least she will laugh or be intrigued.
3. A generous no-strings attached invitation.
‘Would you like a glass of champagne – we have a bottle open which we won’t get through.’ This shows you are classy (champers) and generous – win-win.
4. Literature
‘If you like that book you should try the second one in the trilogy.’ Only do this if you genuinely know the author – otherwise you will get caught out. If you haven’t read the book, you can always open with – ‘I was thinking about getting that book – what do you think of it?’ Ask an OPEN question – not one she can give a Yes/No answer to.
5. Family resemblances
‘Sorry, I had to do a double-take. You remind me so much of my beautiful sister Jane.’ If you don’t have a sister – use a friend’s name, but in case she ever meets the real Jane – make sure they do look somewhat alike. This is corny but sweet.
6. Help!
‘I don’t know you, but, as a woman, would you mind telling me if you would want this present that I have just bought for my mum?’ Your helpless male act will bring out the big softie in her. Who could resist rescuing you when you’re trying to do something nice for your Mum?
7. Fancy that!
‘What a coincidence. Didn’t I see you at the bus stop outside the cinema last week? You had a fantastic mohair coat which really looked unusual.’ Even if it wasn’t her, she will like the compliment and you will have to spend some time figuring out if it was her i.e. which film, which cinema etc… This gives you time for a few follow-up gambits.
8. Being the gent.
‘That case looks heavy. Can I help you take it off the carousel?’ These old-school manners always go down well, no matter how liberated the woman is. Who’s going to object to a bit of genuine courtesy?
9. On the train.
‘Do you know what time we get into Manchester?’….factual, unthreatening. But get in quick with a follow-up remark, a joke about the catering, the delightfully helpful staff or Network Rail’s ever-present engineering works, always timed to perfection.
10. In the wine bar.
‘They do a great Frascati/Sauvignon Blanc here, I’m going to get a glass – can I get you one while I am at it?’ A variation on ‘Can I buy you a drink?’ but no harm in that.
11. In the street/bus stop/pub.
‘I am looking for a really good Italian restaurant round here, any ideas?’ Again, unthreatening. She will probably give directions or be going that way herself, in which case…
Why not give these a try next time you see someone who takes your fancy!
Tuesday 25 August 2009
Getting your heartbroken
Unfortunately when a relationship ends chances are you are going to get your heartbroken.
A year ago I got my heartbroken and it felt like the end of the world.
In fact I think I may have actually said: "I hate you for what you have done to me, you have ruined my life."
Looking back now I can't believe how dramatically I reacted. I was 20-years-old, how could my life have been ruined!
At the time it does seem like the end of the world, in my case it felt like the man that I loved had betrayed me and there was no coming back from that.
But over the past year I have come to realise that getting your heartbroken makes you stronger.
It is something that I think you have to go through, to make you realise all the good things that you have in your life and that being in a relationship isn't the be all and end all.
Monday 17 August 2009
What is the true meaning of love and being in love?
You can often think you have fallen in love but how do you know what love is? I think that I have been in love before but how do I know when I have never experienced it before.
There are so many different types of love that is hard to define which one it is when you have found that special someone.
So to put a definition to the question I asked WikiAnswers: What is the true meaning of love and being in love?
And this is the answer that I got: Love isn't blind or deaf or dumb - in fact it sees far more than it will ever tell. It is going beyond yourself and stretching who you are for someone else. Being in love entails seeing someone as you wish they were: to love them is to see who they really are and still care for them. Love isn't bitter, but you can't have love without pain: sacrifice is the hallmark of love , the coin of love.
Being in love usually is used in a romantic sense when you meet your significant other transforming a normal relationship into a deeper one without further interest in others. Love means that you trust the person, would do anything for the person, know that person is with you through thick and thin, isn't afraid to be seen with you. make sure they treat you right.
There are so many different types of love that is hard to define which one it is when you have found that special someone.
So to put a definition to the question I asked WikiAnswers: What is the true meaning of love and being in love?
And this is the answer that I got: Love isn't blind or deaf or dumb - in fact it sees far more than it will ever tell. It is going beyond yourself and stretching who you are for someone else. Being in love entails seeing someone as you wish they were: to love them is to see who they really are and still care for them. Love isn't bitter, but you can't have love without pain: sacrifice is the hallmark of love , the coin of love.
Being in love usually is used in a romantic sense when you meet your significant other transforming a normal relationship into a deeper one without further interest in others. Love means that you trust the person, would do anything for the person, know that person is with you through thick and thin, isn't afraid to be seen with you. make sure they treat you right.
Thursday 23 July 2009
How do you break up with someone
Are you in a relationship you want to get out of but just can't seem to find the right words?
Well here are 10 top tips from authors Penny Isaacs and Sarah Lockett.
1. Let’s be friends.
How about this good perennial friendship line? This is nice but will do the job. It lets the other person down gently since they can cling on to the belief that they can always work their way back into your affections – for a few weeks anyway.
2. I feel we’re more like brother or sister.
Ditto. A nice innocuous porky pie. It’s kind of a compliment too, as you’re saying you feel really relaxed and at ease with this person.
3. I know you love Croydon/Watford/Bristol but I have decided to relocate somewhere else - possibly Hull, Land’s End or Belgium.
Ah the old relocation, relocation, relocation excuse. I (Penny) have always wondered about the ending of that classic film Brief Encounter when the character played by Trevor Howard, a doctor, who has not advanced past first base in his romance with a drippy housewife tells her he is leaving the country to work in South Africa. A likely story.
4. It’s not you, darling!
It’s not about you. You are perfect. I need to sort myself out on my own. This is perilously close to the old “It’s not you, it’s me” line, but actually, it may be absolutely true if you have met the right person at the wrong time. Make sure you emphasise what a heel you are for ditching this fabulous, fragrant person though, otherwise she will be tempted to let rip.
5. I’ll call you next week.
A slightly cowardly one this, although if things are not going smoothly you will both know this is a call which is never going to be made. But nevertheless it can soften the blow when your new ‘ex’ is staring into to the abyss of never hearing from you again.
6. Do you like these beeswax candles? I am going to give up all worthless worldly goods/cut down my carbon footprint to the bare minimum and devote myself to a simple life within a radius of 5 miles of home.
She/he will possibly run a mile - or hop to the nearest airport. Wear hessian sandals as you say it and chant under your breath.
7. Caravanning!
I hate the sun. Aren’t you bored with the South of France? I always fancied caravanning/spending long periods of time at a simple retreat in Wales without running water and no electricity! Here’s the cesspit digging tool – you don’t mind mucking in, do you?
8. Shall we go Dutch?
Having invited her/him to dinner.
9. I am really getting into Buddhist chants/medieval poetry/modern opera.
Few people would stick around to listen to these on a Saturday night.
10. I fancy your mother/father(!).
Slightly tongue in check so this is strictly a last resort for a pest who won’t take hints i.e. someone who has not taken on board your messages in 1-9 above.
Well here are 10 top tips from authors Penny Isaacs and Sarah Lockett.
1. Let’s be friends.
How about this good perennial friendship line? This is nice but will do the job. It lets the other person down gently since they can cling on to the belief that they can always work their way back into your affections – for a few weeks anyway.
2. I feel we’re more like brother or sister.
Ditto. A nice innocuous porky pie. It’s kind of a compliment too, as you’re saying you feel really relaxed and at ease with this person.
3. I know you love Croydon/Watford/Bristol but I have decided to relocate somewhere else - possibly Hull, Land’s End or Belgium.
Ah the old relocation, relocation, relocation excuse. I (Penny) have always wondered about the ending of that classic film Brief Encounter when the character played by Trevor Howard, a doctor, who has not advanced past first base in his romance with a drippy housewife tells her he is leaving the country to work in South Africa. A likely story.
4. It’s not you, darling!
It’s not about you. You are perfect. I need to sort myself out on my own. This is perilously close to the old “It’s not you, it’s me” line, but actually, it may be absolutely true if you have met the right person at the wrong time. Make sure you emphasise what a heel you are for ditching this fabulous, fragrant person though, otherwise she will be tempted to let rip.
5. I’ll call you next week.
A slightly cowardly one this, although if things are not going smoothly you will both know this is a call which is never going to be made. But nevertheless it can soften the blow when your new ‘ex’ is staring into to the abyss of never hearing from you again.
6. Do you like these beeswax candles? I am going to give up all worthless worldly goods/cut down my carbon footprint to the bare minimum and devote myself to a simple life within a radius of 5 miles of home.
She/he will possibly run a mile - or hop to the nearest airport. Wear hessian sandals as you say it and chant under your breath.
7. Caravanning!
I hate the sun. Aren’t you bored with the South of France? I always fancied caravanning/spending long periods of time at a simple retreat in Wales without running water and no electricity! Here’s the cesspit digging tool – you don’t mind mucking in, do you?
8. Shall we go Dutch?
Having invited her/him to dinner.
9. I am really getting into Buddhist chants/medieval poetry/modern opera.
Few people would stick around to listen to these on a Saturday night.
10. I fancy your mother/father(!).
Slightly tongue in check so this is strictly a last resort for a pest who won’t take hints i.e. someone who has not taken on board your messages in 1-9 above.
Friday 17 July 2009
Seven common dating mistakes
Here are seven common dating mistakes we make brought to you by the author of 'Men are from Mars, women are from Venus' Dr John Gray.
Some of the most common blunders are:
1. Falling in love instantly
2. Mistakenly believing that a person will date with the same enthusiasm as they initially pursued
3. Pursuing more than you're being pursued
4. Not healing from old hurts and carrying this "baggage" into new relationships
5. Expecting that your date will be "different" with you than they were with their ex.
6. Not taking the time to get to honestly know someone BEFORE becoming intimate
7. Skipping dating stages -- going from attraction to intimacy to uncertainty
There are dating skills that can teach you to avoid these common blunders.
Unfortunately, what we see is that, until people learn to master these lessons, often they continue to repeat their patterns.
We understand that "Rome wasn't built in a day" and that it takes time to heal from old hurts and learn a new way to date.
Do you think this is where you might be going wrong or did you manage to avoid these blunders.
Let me know.
Some of the most common blunders are:
1. Falling in love instantly
2. Mistakenly believing that a person will date with the same enthusiasm as they initially pursued
3. Pursuing more than you're being pursued
4. Not healing from old hurts and carrying this "baggage" into new relationships
5. Expecting that your date will be "different" with you than they were with their ex.
6. Not taking the time to get to honestly know someone BEFORE becoming intimate
7. Skipping dating stages -- going from attraction to intimacy to uncertainty
There are dating skills that can teach you to avoid these common blunders.
Unfortunately, what we see is that, until people learn to master these lessons, often they continue to repeat their patterns.
We understand that "Rome wasn't built in a day" and that it takes time to heal from old hurts and learn a new way to date.
Do you think this is where you might be going wrong or did you manage to avoid these blunders.
Let me know.
Thursday 9 July 2009
Speed Dating
Now this is something that I would only do for a laugh but people do seriously believe that this is where they will meet 'the one'.
The format of speed dating is the men move around the tables every five minutes and chat to the woman in front of them.
After looking into this form of dating I noted that when you arrive you are given a score card where after each 'date' you are asked to tick - date, friend and no thanks - and you also need to fill in your name and contact details.
You then hand this card into the host at the end of the evening who will then give your details out to anyone who has made a match with you.
It all seems a bit clinical to me but in a world where people are always on the go and find it difficult to meet new people this may be the only chance they get to meet someone new.
The best thing though about this event has to be the question suggestions on the score card.
These are supposed to help you along in finding whether this person is your perfect match.
Here are a few of my favourite suggestions -
1. Where and doing what would be your perfect holiday?
2. What is your favourite type of food and drink?
3. How would your friends describe you?
4. What type of music do you like?
5. What do you enjoy reading?
6. What sort of thing makes you laugh?
7. Who do you admire and why?
This next one has to be my personal favourite.
8. What is in your fridge?
And finally,
9. What is the craziest thing you have ever done?
Even on a regular length date if someone asked me what was in my fridge alarm bells would start to ring in my head.
I don't think this is the place to meet your one true love but I think I would like to give it a go, just to see what kind of people this form of dating appeals to.
Have you ever tried speed dating or is it something you might consider?
Let me know.
The format of speed dating is the men move around the tables every five minutes and chat to the woman in front of them.
After looking into this form of dating I noted that when you arrive you are given a score card where after each 'date' you are asked to tick - date, friend and no thanks - and you also need to fill in your name and contact details.
You then hand this card into the host at the end of the evening who will then give your details out to anyone who has made a match with you.
It all seems a bit clinical to me but in a world where people are always on the go and find it difficult to meet new people this may be the only chance they get to meet someone new.
The best thing though about this event has to be the question suggestions on the score card.
These are supposed to help you along in finding whether this person is your perfect match.
Here are a few of my favourite suggestions -
1. Where and doing what would be your perfect holiday?
2. What is your favourite type of food and drink?
3. How would your friends describe you?
4. What type of music do you like?
5. What do you enjoy reading?
6. What sort of thing makes you laugh?
7. Who do you admire and why?
This next one has to be my personal favourite.
8. What is in your fridge?
And finally,
9. What is the craziest thing you have ever done?
Even on a regular length date if someone asked me what was in my fridge alarm bells would start to ring in my head.
I don't think this is the place to meet your one true love but I think I would like to give it a go, just to see what kind of people this form of dating appeals to.
Have you ever tried speed dating or is it something you might consider?
Let me know.
Thursday 25 June 2009
Should you stay friends with an ex - part 2
Back in February I asked the question - should you stay friends with an ex.
At the time I didn't have the answer but I can now reveal that it can be done!
Myself and my ex are still good friends and have recently got back from Download festival.
To be honest not a lot has changed in terms of our relationship - we have just taken away the boy and girl aspect and kept the friend part.
I do have to admit though it is a weird feeling to think that I have seen him naked - I can honestly say I don't look at any of my other friends and think that.
The good part of it is is that we don't pretend that we don't have a history and he doesn't pretend that he doesn't have a girlfriend.
He doesn't talk about all the time or anything like that but I asked him right from the beginning to not act like he is not with her.
And I also wanted to make sure she would be comfortable with us being friends before I let him back into my life.
So I think the key to staying friends with an ex is to just be as honest and up front as you can and to make sure that everyone involved is comfortable with the situation.
At the time I didn't have the answer but I can now reveal that it can be done!
Myself and my ex are still good friends and have recently got back from Download festival.
To be honest not a lot has changed in terms of our relationship - we have just taken away the boy and girl aspect and kept the friend part.
I do have to admit though it is a weird feeling to think that I have seen him naked - I can honestly say I don't look at any of my other friends and think that.
The good part of it is is that we don't pretend that we don't have a history and he doesn't pretend that he doesn't have a girlfriend.
He doesn't talk about all the time or anything like that but I asked him right from the beginning to not act like he is not with her.
And I also wanted to make sure she would be comfortable with us being friends before I let him back into my life.
So I think the key to staying friends with an ex is to just be as honest and up front as you can and to make sure that everyone involved is comfortable with the situation.
Thursday 11 June 2009
Eating out on a date
I don't what it is but when I am on a date I completely lose my appetite.
Now I am not saying that I am greedy but I can eat, I very rarely leave my food and I can normally always manage a dessert.
But put me in front of a male and I completely lose my appetite and become aware of what and how I am eating.
I discovered this last weekend when I ordered a pizza and after one slice I couldn't bare to eat anymore, out of guilt and embarrassment I managed to force down a few more but I still ended up leaving half!
This also lead me to find out that there are only two men (excluding family members) that I am completely and utterly comfortable eating in front of and that is my best friend and my ex boyfriend.
I don't care if they see me with pasta sauce all around my mouth or chocolate sauce on my forehead!
I am hoping that this phobia will disappear over time otherwise I am going to get hungry.
Now I am not saying that I am greedy but I can eat, I very rarely leave my food and I can normally always manage a dessert.
But put me in front of a male and I completely lose my appetite and become aware of what and how I am eating.
I discovered this last weekend when I ordered a pizza and after one slice I couldn't bare to eat anymore, out of guilt and embarrassment I managed to force down a few more but I still ended up leaving half!
This also lead me to find out that there are only two men (excluding family members) that I am completely and utterly comfortable eating in front of and that is my best friend and my ex boyfriend.
I don't care if they see me with pasta sauce all around my mouth or chocolate sauce on my forehead!
I am hoping that this phobia will disappear over time otherwise I am going to get hungry.
Thursday 4 June 2009
Forget men - it's robots who we should be loving!
Loughborough author Ariadne Tampion has explored robot love in her new book, Automatic Lover.Ariadne's book describes the funny and engaging tale about a steamy love affair between a robot called HCR-238 and a woman.
Their love for each other is set in the future, complete with space ships and interplanetary travel.
The journey is documented from when they met and worked in each other's company to their eventual marriage.
It also challenges questions raised by their odd relationship.
The book is written in two separate episodes and is part science fiction and part romance.
Automatic Lover is £11.95 and published by Lulu.com.
Who should make the first move?
A couple of weeks ago two of my colleagues at the Echo took to the streets of Loughborough to find out if men are still expected to make the first move or are the roles slowly reversing.
Leon Sullivan and Melanie Willcocks met each other over the internet.
Leon said: "Men always make the first move but it would be nice if more women took the plunge and told us what they thought."
Melanie added: "I don't think enough women make the first move.
"A lot of women wait for the man.
"I think men can also pass it off if they are rejected by a woman while a woman is more likely to crawl away and hide in the toilet all night."
Loughborough University students Katja Nilsson and Catherine Clark said they would normally wait for the man.
Katja said: "It is just a thing we don't do because it is the guy's role to ask.
"We do try, we will try a cheeky grin or brush by them."
Catherine said: "I do think more women should be making the move otherwise you might be waiting a long time.
"I think it depends if you know them or not."
Rosie Young and Bob Shield think that we should keep to the tradition of men doing the chasing.
Rosie said: "I think it is their privilege, they should do it."
Bob agreed, he said: "Yes men should make the move because you have got to be a gentleman.
"If a woman made a move on a man he would run a mile."
However Katie Greenaway and Nathan Hallam say things should change.
Katie said: "I think men make the move because it is stereotypical and women wait for the men to ask.
"But I do think it should work both ways."
Nathan said: "I think they should do it as well, make us feel a bit more loved."
And Victoria Stonehouse is a girl who made her move.
She said: "I made the first move because I knew he wouldn't.
"Most women make the first move because men take so long in making a decision."
Her boyfriend Chris Jones said: "I think it depends how much you have had to drink.
"It give you more confidence to make a move then."
And finally Chris Casanova says that times are changing.
He said: "A lot has changed since I first started going out.
"Women are a lot more confident these days."
So what do you think? Should more women pluck up the courage and make their move or should tradition prevail and let the men do all the leg work.
Let me know!
Leon Sullivan and Melanie Willcocks met each other over the internet.
Leon said: "Men always make the first move but it would be nice if more women took the plunge and told us what they thought."
Melanie added: "I don't think enough women make the first move.
"A lot of women wait for the man.
"I think men can also pass it off if they are rejected by a woman while a woman is more likely to crawl away and hide in the toilet all night."
Loughborough University students Katja Nilsson and Catherine Clark said they would normally wait for the man.
Katja said: "It is just a thing we don't do because it is the guy's role to ask.
"We do try, we will try a cheeky grin or brush by them."
Catherine said: "I do think more women should be making the move otherwise you might be waiting a long time.
"I think it depends if you know them or not."
Rosie Young and Bob Shield think that we should keep to the tradition of men doing the chasing.
Rosie said: "I think it is their privilege, they should do it."
Bob agreed, he said: "Yes men should make the move because you have got to be a gentleman.
"If a woman made a move on a man he would run a mile."
However Katie Greenaway and Nathan Hallam say things should change.
Katie said: "I think men make the move because it is stereotypical and women wait for the men to ask.
"But I do think it should work both ways."
Nathan said: "I think they should do it as well, make us feel a bit more loved."
And Victoria Stonehouse is a girl who made her move.
She said: "I made the first move because I knew he wouldn't.
"Most women make the first move because men take so long in making a decision."
Her boyfriend Chris Jones said: "I think it depends how much you have had to drink.
"It give you more confidence to make a move then."
And finally Chris Casanova says that times are changing.
He said: "A lot has changed since I first started going out.
"Women are a lot more confident these days."
So what do you think? Should more women pluck up the courage and make their move or should tradition prevail and let the men do all the leg work.
Let me know!
Thursday 14 May 2009
Is reality love just a fantasy?
I don't think I am the only one who is not surprised that Katie Price and Peter Andre have split up.
Their three year and a half marriage is over after they fell in love in the jungle.
I don't want to be cynical about this because I'm sure people have but I don't think people can fall in love with each other after just a few weeks - especially not whilst being watched by millions.
How can you be yourself when you know you are being watched and analysed by people watching you.
I have to say I am not a believer in love at first sight.
To love someone you need to know all the good things and all the bad things about that person and still want to be with them.
And I just don't think this can be discovered after just a few weeks, it could take years.
Katie and Peter are just at the bottom of a long list of reality stars relationships that have run their course.
After reading about Katie and Peter's split another reality TV's stars marriage disaster keeps making an appearance - Chantelle and Preston.
I mean how did they ever think this was going to last.
I think Preston was the biggest fool in all of that.
I mean he left his fiancee for Chantelle to then be filing for divorce just a few months down the line.
On BBC One's The Dark Side Of Fame With Piers Morgan Chantelle said: "I don't think he ever took it seriously.
"I married him because I loved him, but Preston changed into a different person on our honeymoon."
No what happened was Preston became the person he always was but you had never seen that person because you had not known him for long enough.
He was just being the person he thought you wanted him to be.
People get together on reality shows because there is nothing better to do but I don't see how they can come out and announce they are in love.
I mean fair enough if they try and have a relationship for a few years and then it fails but I just don't understand those who declare their love for each other and jump head first into marriage.
It has disaster written all over it.
Their three year and a half marriage is over after they fell in love in the jungle.
I don't want to be cynical about this because I'm sure people have but I don't think people can fall in love with each other after just a few weeks - especially not whilst being watched by millions.
How can you be yourself when you know you are being watched and analysed by people watching you.
I have to say I am not a believer in love at first sight.
To love someone you need to know all the good things and all the bad things about that person and still want to be with them.
And I just don't think this can be discovered after just a few weeks, it could take years.
Katie and Peter are just at the bottom of a long list of reality stars relationships that have run their course.
After reading about Katie and Peter's split another reality TV's stars marriage disaster keeps making an appearance - Chantelle and Preston.
I mean how did they ever think this was going to last.
I think Preston was the biggest fool in all of that.
I mean he left his fiancee for Chantelle to then be filing for divorce just a few months down the line.
On BBC One's The Dark Side Of Fame With Piers Morgan Chantelle said: "I don't think he ever took it seriously.
"I married him because I loved him, but Preston changed into a different person on our honeymoon."
No what happened was Preston became the person he always was but you had never seen that person because you had not known him for long enough.
He was just being the person he thought you wanted him to be.
People get together on reality shows because there is nothing better to do but I don't see how they can come out and announce they are in love.
I mean fair enough if they try and have a relationship for a few years and then it fails but I just don't understand those who declare their love for each other and jump head first into marriage.
It has disaster written all over it.
Monday 11 May 2009
Statistics
Here are a few statistics about relationships that were published in the May edition of Marie Claire that will either make you feel better or worse about your status whether it is single, in a relationship or married.
70 per cent - the chance of a woman in her thirties with children meeting a new partner within five years.
19 per cent - the probability of meeting a new partner through mutual friends.
27 per cent - the percentage of wives in a match.com survery who made the first move in their relationship.
1/3 - the proportion of couples who start cohabiting without discussing their future.
5 times a fortnight - the frequency with which new couples argue.
1 in 3 - the number of couples who share the remote.
1 in 10 - the amount of couples who row within 15 miutes of getting into a car.age
5 to 1 - the ratio of positive to negative comments made in successful relationships.
2 1/2 - the average number of hours couples spend together each day (including weekends).
42 per cent versus 17 per cent - the amount of women who do all the housework compared with men.
4 years - the stage of a relationship at which there is a clear dip in happiness.
23 per cent - the chance of getting married at 40.
These statistics are taken from Love by Numbers by Dr Luisa Dillner.
A book which looks at relationships with a scientific view.
Let me know if you fit it any of these statistics or if you are worried that one day you might be one of them.
70 per cent - the chance of a woman in her thirties with children meeting a new partner within five years.
19 per cent - the probability of meeting a new partner through mutual friends.
27 per cent - the percentage of wives in a match.com survery who made the first move in their relationship.
1/3 - the proportion of couples who start cohabiting without discussing their future.
5 times a fortnight - the frequency with which new couples argue.
1 in 3 - the number of couples who share the remote.
1 in 10 - the amount of couples who row within 15 miutes of getting into a car.age
5 to 1 - the ratio of positive to negative comments made in successful relationships.
2 1/2 - the average number of hours couples spend together each day (including weekends).
42 per cent versus 17 per cent - the amount of women who do all the housework compared with men.
4 years - the stage of a relationship at which there is a clear dip in happiness.
23 per cent - the chance of getting married at 40.
These statistics are taken from Love by Numbers by Dr Luisa Dillner.
A book which looks at relationships with a scientific view.
Let me know if you fit it any of these statistics or if you are worried that one day you might be one of them.
Thursday 30 April 2009
Date Ideas
Have you been in a relationship for a while now and getting tired of the traditional dinner and a movie?
Or do you want an original idea for a first date?
If you answered yes to one of theses questions then here are a few ideas I found on about.com to inject a bit of originality into a traditional concept.
1: Amusement Park - Roller coasters, cotton candy and anti-gravity machines are a riot no matter who you are with, so bring a date and explore the merry-go-rounds, old fashioned photos, tilt-a-whirls, and water rides together.
- This is one that I would like to try, especially because I have got a 2-4-1 voucher for Alton Towers!
2: Arcade - Your favorite old school hangout may offer an inexpensive yet entertaining way to get to know someone better.
Most arcades today offer a wide variety of games to play both new and old, providing the opportunity to run a space mission together, whack-a-mole, or even duke it out Mortal Kombat style.
An added bonus is when you trade in your arcade tokens for a prize at the end of the night that your date can take home to remember the occasion.
3: Bowling - It may sound like a typical date idea, but when is the last time you went bowling? Many alleys now offer night bowling events specially geared towards dating couples such as laser bowling or singles leagues.
Rent a pair of shoes, let the scoring machine do all of the hard work, and see who can strike out first.
4: Comedy / Improv - If breaking the ice is a concern with your date, a comedy show or improv group may offer a solution.
Spending the evening together laughing at the live antics in front of you can be a bonding experience, and you’ll have plenty to talk about in between acts and after the show.
5: Dinner Theatre - An interactive murder mystery-type dinner theatre show is the perfect second or third date get-together.
This way, you can interact with each other while participating first-hand in a memorable date neither will soon forget.
6: Interpretive Center - Depending on where you live will determine what kind of interpretive center you will have access to, but most cities and towns have at least one to choose from, such as a duck sanctuary, fur trading camp, salmon spawning center, wetland interpretive center or natural hot springs.
7: Planetarium - Not every town has a planetarium, but if yours does it is a fantastic
place to hold hands, sit in the dark and explore the universe around you.
Some also host weekend star-gazing events, where tour guides will show you and your date how to spot the major constellations.
Then, use this information for a romantic date later on down the road – just the two of you on your balcony or in a park, trying to find the big dipper together.
There are just a few to get the ball rolling, if you have any other ideas why not send me an email at shelley_marriott@hotmail.co.uk.
Or do you want an original idea for a first date?
If you answered yes to one of theses questions then here are a few ideas I found on about.com to inject a bit of originality into a traditional concept.
1: Amusement Park - Roller coasters, cotton candy and anti-gravity machines are a riot no matter who you are with, so bring a date and explore the merry-go-rounds, old fashioned photos, tilt-a-whirls, and water rides together.
- This is one that I would like to try, especially because I have got a 2-4-1 voucher for Alton Towers!
2: Arcade - Your favorite old school hangout may offer an inexpensive yet entertaining way to get to know someone better.
Most arcades today offer a wide variety of games to play both new and old, providing the opportunity to run a space mission together, whack-a-mole, or even duke it out Mortal Kombat style.
An added bonus is when you trade in your arcade tokens for a prize at the end of the night that your date can take home to remember the occasion.
3: Bowling - It may sound like a typical date idea, but when is the last time you went bowling? Many alleys now offer night bowling events specially geared towards dating couples such as laser bowling or singles leagues.
Rent a pair of shoes, let the scoring machine do all of the hard work, and see who can strike out first.
4: Comedy / Improv - If breaking the ice is a concern with your date, a comedy show or improv group may offer a solution.
Spending the evening together laughing at the live antics in front of you can be a bonding experience, and you’ll have plenty to talk about in between acts and after the show.
5: Dinner Theatre - An interactive murder mystery-type dinner theatre show is the perfect second or third date get-together.
This way, you can interact with each other while participating first-hand in a memorable date neither will soon forget.
6: Interpretive Center - Depending on where you live will determine what kind of interpretive center you will have access to, but most cities and towns have at least one to choose from, such as a duck sanctuary, fur trading camp, salmon spawning center, wetland interpretive center or natural hot springs.
7: Planetarium - Not every town has a planetarium, but if yours does it is a fantastic
place to hold hands, sit in the dark and explore the universe around you.Some also host weekend star-gazing events, where tour guides will show you and your date how to spot the major constellations.
Then, use this information for a romantic date later on down the road – just the two of you on your balcony or in a park, trying to find the big dipper together.
There are just a few to get the ball rolling, if you have any other ideas why not send me an email at shelley_marriott@hotmail.co.uk.
Wednesday 8 April 2009
Learn to be a great flirt
Sticking with the theme of being new age women and us doing all the leg work to get our man why not check out this book, Super Flirt by Tracey Cox, which will teach you all you need to know about how to be a good flirt.The book is filled with Tracey's personal tips and anecdotes and takes the reader through the fundamentals of body language, then shows you how to express the messages you want to send and how to read what other bodies are saying to you.
Thursday 2 April 2009
How to ask a man out
In these modern times it is now acceptable for the women to ask out the men - if you think you are brave enough.
To be honest I still think it should be the job of the man to do the asking but I think that comes down to fear of rejection.
If they have asked you then at least you know they are interested.
But that being said this is the 21st century so why shouldn't women be allowed to ask.
Here is an article I found on msn.com that gives us women some tips on how to pluck up the courage and ask that important question.
How To Ask A Man Out by Bob Strauss
There’s no easy way to phrase this without provoking a barrage of “What are you, crazy?” emails, but here’s my theory: By the time she hits 20, even the shyest, mousiest, most un-Katie-Holmes like waif has developed at least a basic strategy for fending off (or responding to) unsolicited come-ons by eager men.
But unless a bloke happens to look like Colin Farrell, he can persist well into his 40’s without once having been — flatly, out of the blue — asked out on a date, (after that, the odds tend to shift, as those handsome, hard-driving captain-of-industry types die off or get married, resulting in a surplus of on-the-prowl single women. Have I offended anyone yet?)
Anyway, whatever the explanation, the fact is that single women are more accustomed to being asked out, and single men are more accustomed to doing the asking—which means there’s not a lot of data out there about how men like to be approached for a first date.
With an eye toward correcting this imbalance, here are my observations about the best way to hit on a bloke, whether it’s someone you work with, someone you’ve met online, or someone you’ve just bumped into the back of at a busy intersection.
Be direct - Men are complete idiots (being a man myself, I mean this in the nicest possible way). In your own mind, you may think you’re being absolutely, unmistakably clear about your intentions when you ask that adorable bloke in the next cubicle if he’d like to grab some Thai takeout for lunch, whereas he’s probably thinking something like “Thai... cool. I’m hungry.”
Ask a man out the way he’d ask you out, “Would you like to have dinner tonight?” is fairly hard to misinterpret, and “Would you like to come over to my place tonight and I’ll cook you dinner?” is even harder to misinterpret (though don’t put it past him to think something like, “Wow, that’s nice of her. She must have some salmon that’s about to spoil.”)
Be indirect - Well, OK, here’s another approach to try, remember how, back in primary school, you’d ask your mate to ask her sister if that fit boy in her class was seeing anyone?
This technique works well in adult life, too, the fact is, most guys were deeply unpopular in primary school and will be flattered to have your friends do some advance scouting (just make sure your messenger isn’t on the market herself, lest you wind up creating some form of love triangle).
Really, there are worse things than having a friend go fishing on your behalf with a, “Hey, are you seeing anyone now...? I know someone who thinks you’re fit...”
Note to guys: Based on my experience, this approach doesn’t work with grown-up women, who’d rather you did your own legwork.
Come up with a plan - Choose between the following two conversations.
Conversation A: You, to that fit guy in the gym: “Um, do you think you’d... maybe like to... go out sometime?” Fit guy in the gym, to you: “Um... yeah... maybe we can do something... sometime.” Conversation B: You, to that hot bar tender in your local pub: “Hey, The Feeling is doing a gig tonight at that new bar in the town centre. Would you like to go?” Hot bar tender, to you: “Sounds good!”
Get the point?
Don’t come on too strong - I’ll spare you the Freudian mumbo-jumbo about how, deep down, men are actually scared of women, and their subconscious minds will transform an ostensibly breezy come-on (“Alright mate! How about I treat you to a beer and a kebab?”) into a screaming nightmare about some woman in a caftan chasing them with a pair of oversized scissors.
It’s unfair, I agree, but the way society is set up, men are much better able to get away with confident-bordering-on-arrogant bluster than women are.
Be nice; use a gentle voice; smile.
Approach the object of your desire as you would a timid bunny rabbit.
Don’t over-plan - It’s only in TV Sitcoms that men hire skywriters and three-piece mariachi bands to announce their interest in sexy, yet clueless, flatmates.
So don’t feel you should follow that tradition.
Red Arrow flybys may be out of your price range, but even a gimmick as innocent-seeming as a homemade chocolate muffin accompanied by a written invitation is overdoing it... and may set off a man’s Fatal Attraction radar.
And you don’t have to invite the man out for much more than some liquid refreshment.
Just ask, plain and simple, the same way you’d ask for directions to the ladies’ room.
“Would you like to have a cup of coffee/get a drink sometime?” will work just fine.
Frankly, most of us are so flattered that you’d request our company that we’re delighted to oblige.
So if you are feeling brave and don't seem to be getting any signals from that guy that you like, why not give this new approach a go?
It might just be what you need.
To be honest I still think it should be the job of the man to do the asking but I think that comes down to fear of rejection.
If they have asked you then at least you know they are interested.
But that being said this is the 21st century so why shouldn't women be allowed to ask.
Here is an article I found on msn.com that gives us women some tips on how to pluck up the courage and ask that important question.
How To Ask A Man Out by Bob Strauss
There’s no easy way to phrase this without provoking a barrage of “What are you, crazy?” emails, but here’s my theory: By the time she hits 20, even the shyest, mousiest, most un-Katie-Holmes like waif has developed at least a basic strategy for fending off (or responding to) unsolicited come-ons by eager men.
But unless a bloke happens to look like Colin Farrell, he can persist well into his 40’s without once having been — flatly, out of the blue — asked out on a date, (after that, the odds tend to shift, as those handsome, hard-driving captain-of-industry types die off or get married, resulting in a surplus of on-the-prowl single women. Have I offended anyone yet?)
Anyway, whatever the explanation, the fact is that single women are more accustomed to being asked out, and single men are more accustomed to doing the asking—which means there’s not a lot of data out there about how men like to be approached for a first date.
With an eye toward correcting this imbalance, here are my observations about the best way to hit on a bloke, whether it’s someone you work with, someone you’ve met online, or someone you’ve just bumped into the back of at a busy intersection.
Be direct - Men are complete idiots (being a man myself, I mean this in the nicest possible way). In your own mind, you may think you’re being absolutely, unmistakably clear about your intentions when you ask that adorable bloke in the next cubicle if he’d like to grab some Thai takeout for lunch, whereas he’s probably thinking something like “Thai... cool. I’m hungry.”
Ask a man out the way he’d ask you out, “Would you like to have dinner tonight?” is fairly hard to misinterpret, and “Would you like to come over to my place tonight and I’ll cook you dinner?” is even harder to misinterpret (though don’t put it past him to think something like, “Wow, that’s nice of her. She must have some salmon that’s about to spoil.”)
Be indirect - Well, OK, here’s another approach to try, remember how, back in primary school, you’d ask your mate to ask her sister if that fit boy in her class was seeing anyone?
This technique works well in adult life, too, the fact is, most guys were deeply unpopular in primary school and will be flattered to have your friends do some advance scouting (just make sure your messenger isn’t on the market herself, lest you wind up creating some form of love triangle).
Really, there are worse things than having a friend go fishing on your behalf with a, “Hey, are you seeing anyone now...? I know someone who thinks you’re fit...”
Note to guys: Based on my experience, this approach doesn’t work with grown-up women, who’d rather you did your own legwork.
Come up with a plan - Choose between the following two conversations.
Conversation A: You, to that fit guy in the gym: “Um, do you think you’d... maybe like to... go out sometime?” Fit guy in the gym, to you: “Um... yeah... maybe we can do something... sometime.” Conversation B: You, to that hot bar tender in your local pub: “Hey, The Feeling is doing a gig tonight at that new bar in the town centre. Would you like to go?” Hot bar tender, to you: “Sounds good!”
Get the point?
Don’t come on too strong - I’ll spare you the Freudian mumbo-jumbo about how, deep down, men are actually scared of women, and their subconscious minds will transform an ostensibly breezy come-on (“Alright mate! How about I treat you to a beer and a kebab?”) into a screaming nightmare about some woman in a caftan chasing them with a pair of oversized scissors.
It’s unfair, I agree, but the way society is set up, men are much better able to get away with confident-bordering-on-arrogant bluster than women are.
Be nice; use a gentle voice; smile.
Approach the object of your desire as you would a timid bunny rabbit.
Don’t over-plan - It’s only in TV Sitcoms that men hire skywriters and three-piece mariachi bands to announce their interest in sexy, yet clueless, flatmates.
So don’t feel you should follow that tradition.
Red Arrow flybys may be out of your price range, but even a gimmick as innocent-seeming as a homemade chocolate muffin accompanied by a written invitation is overdoing it... and may set off a man’s Fatal Attraction radar.
And you don’t have to invite the man out for much more than some liquid refreshment.
Just ask, plain and simple, the same way you’d ask for directions to the ladies’ room.
“Would you like to have a cup of coffee/get a drink sometime?” will work just fine.
Frankly, most of us are so flattered that you’d request our company that we’re delighted to oblige.
So if you are feeling brave and don't seem to be getting any signals from that guy that you like, why not give this new approach a go?
It might just be what you need.
Friday 6 March 2009
Want to get back together with your ex?
So you have just split up with your boyfriend/girlfriend and all you want is to get them back then here is the way - http://www.breakuprepair.com/.
This is a website that tells you exactly how to win back your ex.
All you have to do is log on and you will receive all the information you need to get back with the one you love.
You will receive videos, articles, read success stories and top tips!
I have to admit that I think this is a load of old rubbish and if you want to get back with an ex then a website isn't the way to go about it.
But if you have exhausted all your efforts - why not take a look.
This is a website that tells you exactly how to win back your ex.
All you have to do is log on and you will receive all the information you need to get back with the one you love.
You will receive videos, articles, read success stories and top tips!
I have to admit that I think this is a load of old rubbish and if you want to get back with an ex then a website isn't the way to go about it.
But if you have exhausted all your efforts - why not take a look.
Monday 2 March 2009
Finding Love Online
How do you find love in this day and age?
Trying to balance work, family and friends, it amazes me that anyone has the time to go out and look for Mr Right.
But it seems that I have been going about this all wrong and should actually be staying at home in front of my computer to find love.
In an article on www.telegraph.co.uk it says that one in four British people are dating – or have dated – someone they met through online community websites.
And over a third have got back in touch with an old flame through the sites.
One in 10 have even gone a step further and had an affair or a one-night stand with someone they met via a social networking site.
A poll of 3,000 20 to 40-year-olds was taken by www.OnePoll.com which revealed that almost half (46 per cent) believe it’s now easier to meet someone through social networking sites than in the flesh.
And 57 per cent of those admitted they are more confident communicating with a potential suitor online.
Over a third (39 per cent) said they preferred the method as it enabled them to get to know someone before actually meeting them.
And 27 per cent felt using social networking sites cut down the time to find love compared to having to having to meet prospective partners face to face.
Yet 44 per cent agreed it’s now considered “cooler” to find love via online community sites than traditional means.
This could explain why over a quarter surveyed confessed to purposely uploading nice pictures of themselves in the hope that potential love interests will spot their profile.
And three quarters of Brits believe there are fewer stigmas attached to meeting a love-match via Facebook, Friends Reunited or Bebo than normal internet dating websites like match.com.
So instead of getting glammed up on a Saturday night for a night on the town, you can just sit in front of the TV with your laptop and find that special someone.
Trying to balance work, family and friends, it amazes me that anyone has the time to go out and look for Mr Right.
But it seems that I have been going about this all wrong and should actually be staying at home in front of my computer to find love.
In an article on www.telegraph.co.uk it says that one in four British people are dating – or have dated – someone they met through online community websites.
And over a third have got back in touch with an old flame through the sites.
One in 10 have even gone a step further and had an affair or a one-night stand with someone they met via a social networking site.
A poll of 3,000 20 to 40-year-olds was taken by www.OnePoll.com which revealed that almost half (46 per cent) believe it’s now easier to meet someone through social networking sites than in the flesh.
And 57 per cent of those admitted they are more confident communicating with a potential suitor online.
Over a third (39 per cent) said they preferred the method as it enabled them to get to know someone before actually meeting them.
And 27 per cent felt using social networking sites cut down the time to find love compared to having to having to meet prospective partners face to face.
Yet 44 per cent agreed it’s now considered “cooler” to find love via online community sites than traditional means.
This could explain why over a quarter surveyed confessed to purposely uploading nice pictures of themselves in the hope that potential love interests will spot their profile.
And three quarters of Brits believe there are fewer stigmas attached to meeting a love-match via Facebook, Friends Reunited or Bebo than normal internet dating websites like match.com.
So instead of getting glammed up on a Saturday night for a night on the town, you can just sit in front of the TV with your laptop and find that special someone.
Thursday 12 February 2009
Valentine's Day
Now being single I was hoping to be able to avoid this day altogether this year but this being a relationship blog it is really unavoidable.
Valentine's Day is when ladies are showered with chocolates and flowers - and so we should be.
But what if this is all you get every year, why not try something a little different this year.
To give you a few ideas for an alternative gift for St Valentine's Day this year here is something I found on The Times newspaper's website.
14 alternative Valentine’s day presents from The Times.
1. The word love: Love is up for auction on eBay. The word love that is. The highest bidder receives a personal dedication next to the word in a special edition of the Collins’ Dictionary and ‘ownership’ of the word for a year. A romantic escape to a boutique hotel is also thrown in. http://www.adoptaword.com/love. Proceeds go to children’s charity I CAN
2. A Scratch ‘n Sniff Cinema evening: Smell-o-vision goes one better at a screening of The Cook, the Thief, His Wife and Her Lover in London’s Newburgh Quarter by online art collective Jotta and bespoke jelly makers Bombas and Parr. Couples get special scratch ‘n sniff cards infused with scents from key moments of Peter Greenaway’s film (rotting meat, dusty books) to watch the film at this one-day-only event. Guests will sip specially commissioned aphrodisiac cocktails and nibble “surprise” treats (although not as surprising as the gangster’s final meal in the film, we hope). The screenings are sold out, but we have a pair of tickets reserved to give away to Times Online readers. Email ben@jotta.com to enter the drawing on Friday the 13th at 11am.
3. A kiss (from you) suspended over an air machine: Give your lover an extra thrill by booking a session in the ‘tunnel of love’ – a wind tunnel in Milton Keynes. You can pretend to be skydiving without having to jump out of a plane and attempt to kiss mid-air which may or may not be more difficult than it looks in the picture on the website. £ 69.99 for two
4. A personalised machete: This is either a bit grizzly or edgily alternative – you decide. Hurry - before they all sell-out (really)! www.elizabethmcgrath.com/store-handmade.php
5. A tree: Combat the bunch of roses cliché by buying the object of your affections a tree, delivered straight to their door. Just avoid saying something like ‘let our love grow’ in the accompanying card. Prices from £9.99. www.tree2mydoor.com
6. Adopt a book: a romantic gesture, if you pick your title wisely. Pick up St Valentine’s pocket book from 1867 or a Midsummer Night’s Dream from 1901. Prices range from £25 to £500 www.bl.uk/adoptabook
7. Chocolate corset: It is chocolate, but this laced-up corset-style box contains a giant heart and is quirky, not cheesy. www.hotelchocolat.co.uk
8. Rose bud tea: When a bunch of flowers is too run of the mill, rosebud tea comes to the rescue – and tastes delicious. Antique Rose tea, £17.02 www.choitime.com
9. Massage Masterclass: A bit more original than the usual spa voucher, the spa at Chancery Court are offering a masterclass for couples, who learn tricks of the trade from a holistic therapist. It costs £300, but lasts 1hr 50 minutes and includes a massage from the therapist as well as an ESPA gift pack. www.spachancerycourt.com
10. Heart-shaped frying pan: Breakfast in bed has never been so kitsch. The idea is to buy the pan then offer to cook eggs for your partner, thus avoiding the awkward ‘you bought me a kitchen implement, how romantic’ chat. £5 from Cancer Research www.giftshop.cancerresearchuk.org
11. Lips video game: True love is listening to your lover warble along to Mariah Carey. And with this game they can. http://www.amazon.co.uk/
12. Treat your dog to a Harrods food tasting: For £10 you can treat the only person in your life you can really count on, as long as that person is your dog. Your pet will be able to taste the delights of Lily’s ‘proper’ pet food. We’re told: “Harrods don’t usually let dogs into the store, except for coat fittings,” so don’t miss the opportunity. Besides, aren’t fellow dog-lovers perfect to date?
13. Something from notmassproduced.com: Surely the definition of alternative, you won’t find any of these gifts in your local House of Fraser www.notmassproduced.com
14. Lunch in Paris via private jet: In this economy, what could run more counter to the make-do-and-mend mindset than organising a romantic meal in Paris, flown in by private jet? For employees of banks that have received billions from the government, the bonus ought to cover the cost easily. Prices start from £500 www.bookajet.com.
Well that was a bit for the loved up people out there.
I am spending this year at a gig with my friend and not giving boy's a thought - unless I meet someone while I am out, you never know!
Sunday 8 February 2009
Should you stay friends with an ex?
Should you do it?
Well, up until recently I would have said, no way, just try and move on.
But now I'm not so sure.
When I first split up with my ex we said that we would stay friends, but that was mainly because we had tickets to Leeds festival and neither of us were willing to give those up.
But as soon as we had been there, I just found it too difficult to be his friend because I couldn't bear the thought of him with anyone else.
So we agreed to call it quits and not see each other anymore.
And my ex stuck to that for a couple of weeks but then he started getting in touch again and it was great and we chatted on the phone for hours as if nothing had changed.
But then I found out he was with someone and I cut him out of my life again, which I thought this time was for good.
But after all this bad weather we have been having, he called me up the other day because he had been stressing about me driving in the snow!
And he asked me if we could be friends.
Now, I haven't seen him since August - except for the odd few times when I have driven past him in my car so I am thinking it might be nice to have a good catch up.
But at the same time, I don't want to end up right back where I started.
So, in answer to the title of this post...I will let you know because I still don't have the answer!
Well, up until recently I would have said, no way, just try and move on.
But now I'm not so sure.
When I first split up with my ex we said that we would stay friends, but that was mainly because we had tickets to Leeds festival and neither of us were willing to give those up.
But as soon as we had been there, I just found it too difficult to be his friend because I couldn't bear the thought of him with anyone else.
So we agreed to call it quits and not see each other anymore.
And my ex stuck to that for a couple of weeks but then he started getting in touch again and it was great and we chatted on the phone for hours as if nothing had changed.
But then I found out he was with someone and I cut him out of my life again, which I thought this time was for good.
But after all this bad weather we have been having, he called me up the other day because he had been stressing about me driving in the snow!
And he asked me if we could be friends.
Now, I haven't seen him since August - except for the odd few times when I have driven past him in my car so I am thinking it might be nice to have a good catch up.
But at the same time, I don't want to end up right back where I started.
So, in answer to the title of this post...I will let you know because I still don't have the answer!
Wednesday 28 January 2009
He's Just Not That Into You
This is the film for single girls everywhere.
Men have been described to me as simple, but I want to argue otherwise.
Or maybe I just over think things and they really are the simple beings they claim to be.
This new film, released February 6, is filled with women with the same view as me. That men are confusing and complicated.
This film looks at the signals men give women - when they say they will call and don’t, when they say they really like you but won’t commit and this film is for all the times you have sat by the phone, willing it to ring and it doesn’t.
This film tells it like it is - maybe he is just not that into you.
It might be a harsh reality but coming to this conclusion could save you a lot of time waiting for him to call when you could be out looking for the next one.
So grab your single friends and spend Valentine’s Day with the person you love the most - yourself!
To find out more why not check out the trailer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpusqxxVq34
Men have been described to me as simple, but I want to argue otherwise.
Or maybe I just over think things and they really are the simple beings they claim to be.
This new film, released February 6, is filled with women with the same view as me. That men are confusing and complicated.
This film looks at the signals men give women - when they say they will call and don’t, when they say they really like you but won’t commit and this film is for all the times you have sat by the phone, willing it to ring and it doesn’t.
This film tells it like it is - maybe he is just not that into you.
It might be a harsh reality but coming to this conclusion could save you a lot of time waiting for him to call when you could be out looking for the next one.
So grab your single friends and spend Valentine’s Day with the person you love the most - yourself!
To find out more why not check out the trailer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpusqxxVq34
Saturday 17 January 2009
21 and single
So I turned 21-years-old this week and I had a little panic.
This time last year I was with the guy I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with and now I have got to start all over again.
So after I had calmed down, I decided I needed to come up with a plan so that this didn't happen on every birthday, Valentine's Day and Christmas until I finally get myself a new boyfriend.
So I decided that I have four years to find myself someone who is husband material!
As long as I am with someone by the time I am 25 then everything else should slot into place.
Because I don't want to get married until I am least 30 so that will give me five years with this guy - whoever he may be!
So with all that decided I can now relax and start looking for Mr Right.
Three years and 360 days to go.
This time last year I was with the guy I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with and now I have got to start all over again.
So after I had calmed down, I decided I needed to come up with a plan so that this didn't happen on every birthday, Valentine's Day and Christmas until I finally get myself a new boyfriend.
So I decided that I have four years to find myself someone who is husband material!
As long as I am with someone by the time I am 25 then everything else should slot into place.
Because I don't want to get married until I am least 30 so that will give me five years with this guy - whoever he may be!
So with all that decided I can now relax and start looking for Mr Right.
Three years and 360 days to go.
Saturday 20 December 2008
The Holiday Romance
I have just gotten back from a week in Lanzarote and I decided I was going get myself a holiday romance.
I have never had one before so I thought now would be as good a time as any to give it a go.
So I got there all ready to go out on the town only to discover that we were a 20 minute walk from any decent bars which I didn't really fancy at night on my own in a foreign country.
So I had to make do with what was around us - which was nothing.
I had to endure being chatted up by a chef with wonky teeth and a cuban waiter who was really greasy.
So I gave up with my quest.
But of course with the luck that I have been having lately a hot guy turned up on my last night when it was too late to do anything about it.
So that was the end of any chance of romance for me for this year.
Bring on the New Year - I just hope it is going to be better than this one!
I have never had one before so I thought now would be as good a time as any to give it a go.
So I got there all ready to go out on the town only to discover that we were a 20 minute walk from any decent bars which I didn't really fancy at night on my own in a foreign country.
So I had to make do with what was around us - which was nothing.
I had to endure being chatted up by a chef with wonky teeth and a cuban waiter who was really greasy.
So I gave up with my quest.
But of course with the luck that I have been having lately a hot guy turned up on my last night when it was too late to do anything about it.
So that was the end of any chance of romance for me for this year.
Bring on the New Year - I just hope it is going to be better than this one!
Monday 1 December 2008
Girls Night Out
Since being single I am making the most of these - cash permitting anyway.
You get to have a great time with your friends and not have to worry about your boyfriend getting paranoid if you speak to another man.
So I went out with my colleagues Amy and Debbie at the weekend and they set themselves a mission for me to pull a boy seeing as I haven't kissed anyone in 5 months which is not good!
Well their mission was accomplished - and I am quite pleased to say he wasn't as ugly as I thought he was!
But I didn't even get his name so we won't be seeing him again but it did feel good to get back in the game and start forgetting about my ex and moving on - which was the whole point of the night anyway.
I will tell you though I did get incredibly smashed and fell over - a lot - and even bust my lip open and I still managed to pull - he must have been really drunk as well!
All in all though a great night and a turning point in me getting over my ex.
And plus we got to see Calvin from Hollyoaks which is always a bonus.
You get to have a great time with your friends and not have to worry about your boyfriend getting paranoid if you speak to another man.
So I went out with my colleagues Amy and Debbie at the weekend and they set themselves a mission for me to pull a boy seeing as I haven't kissed anyone in 5 months which is not good!
Well their mission was accomplished - and I am quite pleased to say he wasn't as ugly as I thought he was!
But I didn't even get his name so we won't be seeing him again but it did feel good to get back in the game and start forgetting about my ex and moving on - which was the whole point of the night anyway.
I will tell you though I did get incredibly smashed and fell over - a lot - and even bust my lip open and I still managed to pull - he must have been really drunk as well!
All in all though a great night and a turning point in me getting over my ex.
And plus we got to see Calvin from Hollyoaks which is always a bonus.
Tuesday 25 November 2008
Dating
I am finally ready to get back in the game and start dating again - but how do I it?
I have never had to put myself out there, things just sort of happened in the past so I don't really know how to go about getting myself out there.
There are guys out there that I fancy and would like to go out on a date with but I don't know how to ask.
I keep talking to my friends about it and getting advice but it is easier said than done.
I do like to think that I am confident but this is so difficult.
I just can't seem to pluck up the courage and ask anyone out.
I need help!
I have never had to put myself out there, things just sort of happened in the past so I don't really know how to go about getting myself out there.
There are guys out there that I fancy and would like to go out on a date with but I don't know how to ask.
I keep talking to my friends about it and getting advice but it is easier said than done.
I do like to think that I am confident but this is so difficult.
I just can't seem to pluck up the courage and ask anyone out.
I need help!
Saturday 15 November 2008
Your ex has a new girlfriend.
This is the bridge that I had to cross this week.
For the last few weeks I have felt really happy with everything and finally felt that I was moving forward but this has thrown me sideways.
The fact that he is seeing someone else really isn't the issue because he has every right to.
The thing that has annoyed me is that three days before I find out about his new bit on the side, he phoned me and told me that he missed me!
What the hell is wrong with him? What good did he think would come out of ringing me to tell me that he missed me and then me finding out he was seeing someone else.
And not only does he have a new girlfriend - he is with the girl who he slept with only weeks after we broke up and who is the same girl who he claimed to just be friends with during the last few months of our relationship and who he had no feelings for.
And to make things even worse as well, he didn't even tell me, I had to find out for my self.
God bless facebook and my investigative journalist side.
I can finally stop letting him back into my life and start to move on properly.
So my next few posts are going to take a bit of a different approach and they are going to focus on being single and happy and not being taken for a ride by the opposite sex.
Unless it's a really hot guy who is worth it!
For the last few weeks I have felt really happy with everything and finally felt that I was moving forward but this has thrown me sideways.
The fact that he is seeing someone else really isn't the issue because he has every right to.
The thing that has annoyed me is that three days before I find out about his new bit on the side, he phoned me and told me that he missed me!
What the hell is wrong with him? What good did he think would come out of ringing me to tell me that he missed me and then me finding out he was seeing someone else.
And not only does he have a new girlfriend - he is with the girl who he slept with only weeks after we broke up and who is the same girl who he claimed to just be friends with during the last few months of our relationship and who he had no feelings for.
And to make things even worse as well, he didn't even tell me, I had to find out for my self.
God bless facebook and my investigative journalist side.
I can finally stop letting him back into my life and start to move on properly.
So my next few posts are going to take a bit of a different approach and they are going to focus on being single and happy and not being taken for a ride by the opposite sex.
Unless it's a really hot guy who is worth it!
Sunday 2 November 2008
The First Date
What do you wear? Where do you go? What do you say?
There are no rules for this it is just what you are most comfortable with.
I think a good first date is a relaxed meal, maybe in a pub, and then to the cinema.
The meal gives you a chance to talk and get to know each other and then the cinema gives you time to relax and see how things go from there.
On my first date with my ex that is what we did and it worked really well, except the only film on at the cinema was 'The 40-year-old virgin' so it wasn't the most romantic film but it did make us laugh.
The next thing is what do you wear. I was tricked because when my ex asked me out, he asked me if I wanted to go shopping so I thought we were going shopping so when he came to pick me up I was in baggy jeans and a t-shirt but he didn't make that much of an effort either so it wasn't too disastrous.
Then there is the hardest part of all - how do you end it?
When he dropped me off I wanted him to kiss me so I hovered in the car for too long to see whether he was going to get the signals but he was a typical boy and didn't get the signs.
But after realising that he missed his chance I got a call a few hours later and he came back to my house and we went out for a walk and sat on the park for a talk and then I got my goodnight kiss.
There are no rules for your first date but it is up to you where you want it go and what you want to happen.
There are no rules for this it is just what you are most comfortable with.
I think a good first date is a relaxed meal, maybe in a pub, and then to the cinema.
The meal gives you a chance to talk and get to know each other and then the cinema gives you time to relax and see how things go from there.
On my first date with my ex that is what we did and it worked really well, except the only film on at the cinema was 'The 40-year-old virgin' so it wasn't the most romantic film but it did make us laugh.
The next thing is what do you wear. I was tricked because when my ex asked me out, he asked me if I wanted to go shopping so I thought we were going shopping so when he came to pick me up I was in baggy jeans and a t-shirt but he didn't make that much of an effort either so it wasn't too disastrous.
Then there is the hardest part of all - how do you end it?
When he dropped me off I wanted him to kiss me so I hovered in the car for too long to see whether he was going to get the signals but he was a typical boy and didn't get the signs.
But after realising that he missed his chance I got a call a few hours later and he came back to my house and we went out for a walk and sat on the park for a talk and then I got my goodnight kiss.
There are no rules for your first date but it is up to you where you want it go and what you want to happen.
Wednesday 22 October 2008
Christmas Presents
I know this is early but it will soon be Christmas time and you will need to buy a present for that special someone.
This will be the first Christmas in three years that I have been single and even though I am not looking forward to being without a boyfriend, I am looking forward to the £200+ that can stay in my bank account!
Here are a few ideas for you boys to get your girlfriends this festive season, or just as a quirky gift to show her you care.
Now, even though chocolate is the predictable choice why not go for the Naughty But Nice Take Away gift box. This is four lip gloss pots shaped as cup cakes with flavours raspberry cream, cream tart, strawberry cream and chocolate cream .
Or why not get the Chocolate Says It All bar which will give her an edible yet romantic message.
Still sticking with the sweet theme, if you are willing to splash a bit of cash why not get her a charm, such as the Last Rolo or the Silver Love Heart.
Also available is a passport holder if you are planning to whisk your girl off her feet.
And for the dancing queen, Tipsy Feet. A pair of flat pumps that will fold up and fit in your handbag for when your feet start to hurt during a night out on the town.
All these gift ideas are available at www.prezzybox.com and cost between £3.95 and £39.95.
And you single girls out there, you don't need a man to buy you these presents, why not treat yourself!
This will be the first Christmas in three years that I have been single and even though I am not looking forward to being without a boyfriend, I am looking forward to the £200+ that can stay in my bank account!
Here are a few ideas for you boys to get your girlfriends this festive season, or just as a quirky gift to show her you care.
Now, even though chocolate is the predictable choice why not go for the Naughty But Nice Take Away gift box. This is four lip gloss pots shaped as cup cakes with flavours raspberry cream, cream tart, strawberry cream and chocolate cream .
Or why not get the Chocolate Says It All bar which will give her an edible yet romantic message.
Still sticking with the sweet theme, if you are willing to splash a bit of cash why not get her a charm, such as the Last Rolo or the Silver Love Heart.
Also available is a passport holder if you are planning to whisk your girl off her feet.
And for the dancing queen, Tipsy Feet. A pair of flat pumps that will fold up and fit in your handbag for when your feet start to hurt during a night out on the town.
All these gift ideas are available at www.prezzybox.com and cost between £3.95 and £39.95.
And you single girls out there, you don't need a man to buy you these presents, why not treat yourself!
Monday 13 October 2008
Cosmopolitan's 25 Hottest Men
The 25 Sexiest Men in the World have been voted for by Cosmopolitan readers and not surprisingly Johnny Depp has reached the top spot.
But what is surprising is that half of the men featured in the top 10 are over 40 and George Clooney has overtaken Brad Pitt for the very first time.
Johnny Depp originally melted our hearts playing Edward Scissorhands and making us ladies go weak at the knees as Jack Sparrow in the Pirates of the Caribbean film series and the 45-year-old’s sultry looks still make him the ultimate heart-throb.
George Clooney, aged 47, was named the second hottest guy on the planet.
But don't worry because all is not lost for younger men as the beauty and brains of Jake Gyllenhaal places him at number three.
James Bond’s infamous tight swimming trunks in Casino Royale put 40-year-old Daniel Craig as the fourth most desirable man in the world.
Brad Pitt, aged 44, claims the number five spot and he is followed by 29-year-old James McAvoy and 27-year-old Justin Timberlake.
David Beckham comes in at number nine and the new Batman, Christian Bale, is at number 11.
In 13th place on the chart and proving they can still have what it takes to relight women’s fires are Take That and coming in at number 16 and achieving the unthinkable in confirming that sci-fi can be sexy is David Tennant - although I don't see it myself.
Angry, fiery and sizzling beyond the kitchen, 42-year-old Gordon Ramsay is in 21st position and he is followed by Russell Brand.
Bringing up the rear of the list are Hollywood hottie and French fox Ryan Reynolds and Olivier Martinez who are in 24th and 25th place respectively.
Do you agree with the list or do you think someone is missing or in the wrong place?
Feel free to post a comment or email me at shelley_marriott@hotmail.co.uk.
But what is surprising is that half of the men featured in the top 10 are over 40 and George Clooney has overtaken Brad Pitt for the very first time.
Johnny Depp originally melted our hearts playing Edward Scissorhands and making us ladies go weak at the knees as Jack Sparrow in the Pirates of the Caribbean film series and the 45-year-old’s sultry looks still make him the ultimate heart-throb.
George Clooney, aged 47, was named the second hottest guy on the planet.
But don't worry because all is not lost for younger men as the beauty and brains of Jake Gyllenhaal places him at number three.
James Bond’s infamous tight swimming trunks in Casino Royale put 40-year-old Daniel Craig as the fourth most desirable man in the world.
Brad Pitt, aged 44, claims the number five spot and he is followed by 29-year-old James McAvoy and 27-year-old Justin Timberlake.
David Beckham comes in at number nine and the new Batman, Christian Bale, is at number 11.
In 13th place on the chart and proving they can still have what it takes to relight women’s fires are Take That and coming in at number 16 and achieving the unthinkable in confirming that sci-fi can be sexy is David Tennant - although I don't see it myself.
Angry, fiery and sizzling beyond the kitchen, 42-year-old Gordon Ramsay is in 21st position and he is followed by Russell Brand.
Bringing up the rear of the list are Hollywood hottie and French fox Ryan Reynolds and Olivier Martinez who are in 24th and 25th place respectively.
Do you agree with the list or do you think someone is missing or in the wrong place?
Feel free to post a comment or email me at shelley_marriott@hotmail.co.uk.
Monday 6 October 2008
Books to make you single guys smile.
Here are a few books which have just been released to give you a giggle and get you wise towards men.
First up we have, 'I love babies and other lies he'll tell you to get you into bed' by Sarah Herman. This retails at £5.99 and was released today.
Here are a few to watch out for - "I only sweat when I'm around girls I really fancy", "I'd love a big wedding", "For me sex is all about artistic impression" and "I'm really good with kids."
If you have ever had one of these lines dropped into a conversation then you will not be a stranger to the fact that men can be very creative with the truth to get what they want.
This photo book is packed with all the hilarious one liners that men tell when attempting to pull!
And next we have 'Naughty Wit, Quips and Quotes to make you blush' by Aubrey Malone.
This retails at £9.99 and is out now.
Here is a little taster of what you will be in store for - "My schoolmates would make love to anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself to that," Emo Phillips and the classic, "The only way to get over a man is to get under another one," Jane Tyler.
For more of these risque ripostes and smutty wise cracks from writers and comedians why not check this one out.
Both of these titles are published by Summerdale and available at all good bookshops and internet booksellers.
First up we have, 'I love babies and other lies he'll tell you to get you into bed' by Sarah Herman. This retails at £5.99 and was released today.Here are a few to watch out for - "I only sweat when I'm around girls I really fancy", "I'd love a big wedding", "For me sex is all about artistic impression" and "I'm really good with kids."
If you have ever had one of these lines dropped into a conversation then you will not be a stranger to the fact that men can be very creative with the truth to get what they want.
This photo book is packed with all the hilarious one liners that men tell when attempting to pull!
And next we have 'Naughty Wit, Quips and Quotes to make you blush' by Aubrey Malone.
This retails at £9.99 and is out now.
Here is a little taster of what you will be in store for - "My schoolmates would make love to anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself to that," Emo Phillips and the classic, "The only way to get over a man is to get under another one," Jane Tyler.
For more of these risque ripostes and smutty wise cracks from writers and comedians why not check this one out.
Both of these titles are published by Summerdale and available at all good bookshops and internet booksellers.
Wednesday 1 October 2008
Welcome
This is a new Loughborough Echo blog which is going to delve into the ins and out of relationships.
This will be advice from my own personal experience after a three year relationship which ended earlier this year.
Now I am not claiming to be an expert because I am far from it, I just want to share with you what I have found out over the last few years.
This is my first go at blogging but I will do my best to update this as much as I can.
Feel free to post any comments on here about your own experiences or email me at shelley_marriott@hotmail.co.uk.
This will be advice from my own personal experience after a three year relationship which ended earlier this year.
Now I am not claiming to be an expert because I am far from it, I just want to share with you what I have found out over the last few years.
This is my first go at blogging but I will do my best to update this as much as I can.
Feel free to post any comments on here about your own experiences or email me at shelley_marriott@hotmail.co.uk.
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