World Cup

I thought I would share with you all an email I was sent at work which made me smile which is a list of rules for women who are not interested in watching the football written by their other half.
1. From Friday, June 11, to July 11, please update yourself on what is going on regarding the World Cup so that you can join in the conversations. Otherwise you may be looked at in a bad way, or totally ignored.
2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any expectations. If you even glimpse at the remote control, you will lose it.
3. You may walk in front of the TV during a game, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I won't have time to take you to the doctor or look after you.
4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick the baby up that just fell from the second floor.
5. Kindly keep at least two six packs in the fridge at all times, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am.
6. If you see me upset because one of my teams is losing do not say 'get over it, it's only a game' or 'don't worry, they'll win next time.' These words will only make me angrier and I will love you less.
7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during half time when adverts are on and only if the half time score is pleasing to me.
8. The replays of the goals are important. Whether I have seen them or not, I want to see them again. Many times. And do not say 'but you have already seen this, why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch?' As the reply will be, see rule #2.
9. Tell your friends not to have babies or any other child-related parties or gatherings that require my attendance because I will not go.
10. Finally please save your expression such as 'thank goodness the World Cup is only every four years' as I am immune to these words because after this comes the Premier League, the Champions League and in two years the Euros.

Now I know this doesn't apply to every couple as I for one will be watching and enjoying as much as the tournament as possible and to add to that I am flying off to South Africa on Tuesday.
Look out for me on Friday night during England vs Algeria.
Bon Voyage!